spring in my step

So, I figured out what's wrong with the half marathon training - lack of joy in my running at about mile 6. Thinking back to Sunday, I was actually having fun through at the very least, mile 5. I was dancing along as I ran, enjoying the random music that came through my ipod. I was so enthusiastic in my joy that I got smiles and laughs from bikers I passed on the trail. It was fun; I didn't mind the heat or the slight soreness in my butt or the tiny rocks in my shoes. And then, suddenly it wasn't fun anymore. My legs and butt hurt; I was hot; I was thirsty. I wasn't playing anymore, instead, I was training.

I realized this last night when I found myself singing along with Simon and Garfunkel about twenty minutes into my run. I was alone in a gym, on a treadmill, and I was having more fun than I did in those painful miles outside on a perfect Sunday afternoon. I like running 3 miles; I even like running 6 miles, but much more than that is real work and so far I haven't developed a real love for it. Its not the time either - I can spend four hours biking with minor breaks for food and still love every minute of it. No, its the pain. Running 10 miles hurts. Maybe someday, if I keep running long training runs it won't hurt so much, but I'm not sure I want to get past that point. I'm not sure I'm willing to put in that kind of time.

I want to get back to joyful running, to enjoying the movement, to have the freedom to run three miles and stop or to push on to six, to have the freedom to skip a Sunday run and take my bike out instead, to not be afraid that going rock climbing is going to leave me with too much muscle pain to run. I'm ready to run for the love of running again instead of because I have to.

Weight: 157.5
Miles: 0 for today - might hit the rock climbing gym tonight.