Today at work, I had a four hour training on dealing with change or more accurately, transitions. I won't say that that the training was terribly helpful, but it was interesting to see what "management" thinks we need to learn. Right now, dramatic things are changing in my office, and its not my favorite. The problem isn't the changes - I actually think they will be great for everyone involved, maybe more work. No the problem is that the things we are going to be using aren't ready yet. Its a struggle to figure out what we are supposed to be doing when the software we are supposed to be using isn't working yet. We'll get there, but we're not there yet.
In fact, I feel like the training was more applicable with my personal life rather than my job. In my personal life, I can take the steps necessary to let go of the past and embrace the future. I don't really have that same control with job.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Wednesday, October 05, 2011
Decisions, Decisions
Prior to my last post, I had been thinking about something for a bit, sort of a dream, but I thought it was out of my reach. That it was something that PB wasn't going to want, and I've asked too much of him the past couple of years to throw something else at him. A couple weeks ago, we went to a friend's wedding in Chicago and caught up with a bunch of people that I hadn't realized I missed. At the wedding, I talked about my dream with one of my friends and about how I couldn't put PB through all that. She asked me if I had asked him, and I realized that I had not. I just assumed he wouldn't agree to it or wouldn't support me making even more changes to his life. So, after my last blog post, I asked him. I told him what I was thinking, what I was dreaming, how I was feeling, and I was happily surprised that he wasn't against it. I'm constantly amazed my his faith in me, and his willingness to support me.
So, this week I took the first step. I filled out an application. Now, I have to wait. It will be a long waiting period - and it leaves me in limbo for a long time, but this finally feels right. It feels right in a great, jumping up and down excitment kind of way. It makes my heart glow. Perhaps its a step I should have taken several years ago, but now, after years of dreaming, I'm ready to try. I may fail. Most people fail, but that's alright. I'll never know if I don't try.
So, this week I took the first step. I filled out an application. Now, I have to wait. It will be a long waiting period - and it leaves me in limbo for a long time, but this finally feels right. It feels right in a great, jumping up and down excitment kind of way. It makes my heart glow. Perhaps its a step I should have taken several years ago, but now, after years of dreaming, I'm ready to try. I may fail. Most people fail, but that's alright. I'll never know if I don't try.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Shattered Dreams
Today for the first time in a while I looked at this blog. I read many, but not all, of my old posts. I can't help but feel how much I've changed. I look back on those past, hopeful posts and see a future that never was, a me I never became. While I see a reflection of my former self in those posts, they no longer fit the skin of the current me.
I know I've told some of you that I felt like a failure that my Chicago job didn't work out. I've come to realize that its more than that. I do like my current job, but I've begun to feel like I gave up on the dreams of the girl that I once was. I wanted to BE someone, to do something, to change something. Now, I'm much like the person that was my former-self's nightmare. I feel as though I let myself down. I took an easy, acceptable track instead of following the path less traveled. I wanted to be more than the person that I've become. I only wish I knew how to explain what I mean.
The girl I was, she was naive and full of infinite possibilities. Now, I feel like I've closed doors and built myself a box, a cage, really. The cage is nice, full of cozy nooks - very comfortable, but still a cage. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not changing the world.
But then, I think about what I do. Unlike my high paying, former hellhole of a job, I actually like what this job does. While I deal with people at a low point in their lives (let's be honest - its pretty bad if you are talking to me), I feel like I have the potential to really make a difference, to give someone hope when they have none, to influence a person's future choices, to help them see the possibility that their lives still hold. Its sad that I'm not seeing that for myself right now. The people I work with are good at what they do, passionate, and really the best of the best. I've heard it said more than once that I work at the best office for what I do in that nation. Still, its not enough for me. I'm not sure what will be. I have thoughts - but they would mean abandoning my cage, and I'm not ready to try that again. I just need to feel challenged again, but in a way that makes me feel like a success.
I'm beginning to feel like the hellhole stole something from me, not sure what. I think its a bit of my self-worth, and I hate that I let those assholes take it from me. I think its a bit of my self-respect and that makes me even angrier. I know its all of my physical fitness (why did I let that happen and why can't I get myself to fight to get that back?).
I know I've told some of you that I felt like a failure that my Chicago job didn't work out. I've come to realize that its more than that. I do like my current job, but I've begun to feel like I gave up on the dreams of the girl that I once was. I wanted to BE someone, to do something, to change something. Now, I'm much like the person that was my former-self's nightmare. I feel as though I let myself down. I took an easy, acceptable track instead of following the path less traveled. I wanted to be more than the person that I've become. I only wish I knew how to explain what I mean.
The girl I was, she was naive and full of infinite possibilities. Now, I feel like I've closed doors and built myself a box, a cage, really. The cage is nice, full of cozy nooks - very comfortable, but still a cage. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not changing the world.
But then, I think about what I do. Unlike my high paying, former hellhole of a job, I actually like what this job does. While I deal with people at a low point in their lives (let's be honest - its pretty bad if you are talking to me), I feel like I have the potential to really make a difference, to give someone hope when they have none, to influence a person's future choices, to help them see the possibility that their lives still hold. Its sad that I'm not seeing that for myself right now. The people I work with are good at what they do, passionate, and really the best of the best. I've heard it said more than once that I work at the best office for what I do in that nation. Still, its not enough for me. I'm not sure what will be. I have thoughts - but they would mean abandoning my cage, and I'm not ready to try that again. I just need to feel challenged again, but in a way that makes me feel like a success.
I'm beginning to feel like the hellhole stole something from me, not sure what. I think its a bit of my self-worth, and I hate that I let those assholes take it from me. I think its a bit of my self-respect and that makes me even angrier. I know its all of my physical fitness (why did I let that happen and why can't I get myself to fight to get that back?).
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Its official
As of today, I have informed my employer and co-workers that my last day on the job will be March 26, 2010. This morning the bf also informed them that he was leaving. I think that next month will involve us traveling a bit. I'm thinking the Grand Canyon, Phoenix, San Diego, LA, and San Francisco. Maybe doing a bit of the Northwest. I'm nervous and excited.
Friday, March 05, 2010
To Buy or Not to Buy
This weekend I'm headed out to look at apartments and houses and condos. I'm in a weird place right now given the fuzziness with my job situation -- I kind of have a job, but not really. I'm debating about whether to buy or rent. Here's my options:
1) rent a nice 2-3 bedroom apartment (dishwasher, washer/dryer hookups, garage, central air) for about $750-$1000 in a fun/good area.
2) buy a 3 bedroom house in a good school district (but not really fun area) for $200,000-$250,000.
3) buy a 2 bedroom condo (maintenance fee of $150/month) in a good area that's close to the fun area for about $115,000.
I have enough money for a good downpayment on either of the purchasing options, and the tax credit seems like an awesome deal (especially for the condos), but I'm not sure I want to be locked into a condo and I'm not sure I'm financially in a position to purchase a house before the end of April.
So I guess I'll see what I see. Anyone have any thoughts?
1) rent a nice 2-3 bedroom apartment (dishwasher, washer/dryer hookups, garage, central air) for about $750-$1000 in a fun/good area.
2) buy a 3 bedroom house in a good school district (but not really fun area) for $200,000-$250,000.
3) buy a 2 bedroom condo (maintenance fee of $150/month) in a good area that's close to the fun area for about $115,000.
I have enough money for a good downpayment on either of the purchasing options, and the tax credit seems like an awesome deal (especially for the condos), but I'm not sure I want to be locked into a condo and I'm not sure I'm financially in a position to purchase a house before the end of April.
So I guess I'll see what I see. Anyone have any thoughts?
Thursday, March 04, 2010
I'm blind
Yesterday, I went to the eye doctor. Nothing terribly unusual there. I go once a year. I went to the same doctor I had gone to the year before. I knew that my vision had gotten worse.
As the title of this post indicates, I'm blind. My old perscription was a -9.0, and things had gotten pretty fuzzy (at least on the left side). When I told my doctor this, I got a 20 minute lecture on how I was too old for my eyes to still be growing (and getting worse), and that I wasn't really more blind that I had been before, and that she wasn't going to increase my perscription even though I wanted her to. I looked at her dubiously and told her, "Whatever, but you're fuzzy and you are sitting 2 feet from me." This launched her into another diatribe about how I wasn't gonna get a higher perscription out of her.
Then she did my vision test.
I walked out of there with a -9.5 lens in my right eye and a -10.0 in my left. She blamed my vision change on birth control. I blame it on practicing law.
As the title of this post indicates, I'm blind. My old perscription was a -9.0, and things had gotten pretty fuzzy (at least on the left side). When I told my doctor this, I got a 20 minute lecture on how I was too old for my eyes to still be growing (and getting worse), and that I wasn't really more blind that I had been before, and that she wasn't going to increase my perscription even though I wanted her to. I looked at her dubiously and told her, "Whatever, but you're fuzzy and you are sitting 2 feet from me." This launched her into another diatribe about how I wasn't gonna get a higher perscription out of her.
Then she did my vision test.
I walked out of there with a -9.5 lens in my right eye and a -10.0 in my left. She blamed my vision change on birth control. I blame it on practicing law.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Of drug tests and physicals
After a weekend of excitment (how times have changed when outlet mall shopping, a nice dinner, and a baby shower with old friends can be considered excitment), I came back to the real world of Chicago. Yesterday, I received a letter telling me the location of the medical facility for my physical as required for my potential future job.
This morning, I called to schedule my phyical, the phyical that is required before I can find out my start date or salary for potential future job. I thought - no big deal. But it is- next appointment date=APRIL 29. That's right, I'm left in limbo land for approximately 2 months. While I'm not terribly concerned about the physical, I am slightly worried. As you know, my elbow injury has left me with some limitations on my range of motion, and this has the potential to be a problem for potential future job. Also, apparently gall bladder disease can occasionally be a problem (and we all know that I no longer have a gall bladder).
This leaves me with a number of questions. Do I apply for other jobs (seems like a bad idea cause it might piss people off, including my references, since I already provisionally accepted potential future job)? What date do I decide for my last day at this one (oh I wish you were tomorrow finish date)? Should I go ahead and rent an apartment in the STL starting in April (my lease here ends at the end of March) or should I try to talk my landlord into an extra month?
On better news, I had my drug test today. That's a weird experience. They lock your purse in a cabinet, and your coat outside the door. No flushing or washing your hands until the person comes back.
This morning, I called to schedule my phyical, the phyical that is required before I can find out my start date or salary for potential future job. I thought - no big deal. But it is- next appointment date=APRIL 29. That's right, I'm left in limbo land for approximately 2 months. While I'm not terribly concerned about the physical, I am slightly worried. As you know, my elbow injury has left me with some limitations on my range of motion, and this has the potential to be a problem for potential future job. Also, apparently gall bladder disease can occasionally be a problem (and we all know that I no longer have a gall bladder).
This leaves me with a number of questions. Do I apply for other jobs (seems like a bad idea cause it might piss people off, including my references, since I already provisionally accepted potential future job)? What date do I decide for my last day at this one (oh I wish you were tomorrow finish date)? Should I go ahead and rent an apartment in the STL starting in April (my lease here ends at the end of March) or should I try to talk my landlord into an extra month?
On better news, I had my drug test today. That's a weird experience. They lock your purse in a cabinet, and your coat outside the door. No flushing or washing your hands until the person comes back.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Good News
Today I got some good news. I feel like I should be jumping up and down excited. I got a provisional job offer. Back in St. Louis. Doing a job that's a complete change of pace. I'll be doing something that might change people's lives - not just their pocket books. I also might be carrying a gun. Its crazy and exciting and somewhat unreal.
At the same time, I'm not as excited as I should be. My boyfriend can't even look me in the eye. I don't feel that he supports me. In fact, all I hear is "its not fair." I keep saying that I want him to come with me, but there's not much I can do.
I want to feel like its time to break out the Champagne, but I've got no one to drink it with.
At the same time, I'm not as excited as I should be. My boyfriend can't even look me in the eye. I don't feel that he supports me. In fact, all I hear is "its not fair." I keep saying that I want him to come with me, but there's not much I can do.
I want to feel like its time to break out the Champagne, but I've got no one to drink it with.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Chicago
Whenever people asked me why I was moving to Chicago, I always told them that I wanted "to see if I could." That's a stupid reason. Don't get me wrong - I've gotten a lot out of my move to Chicago.
With the dark overtone of my previous post, I must say that there are parts of Chicago I love. I've enjoyed explored a new place. I've eaten at fantastic restaurants. I love being able to walk to all kinds of wonderful places. I love the variety of music venues and artists that the city attracts. I love the fact that on any spring or summer weekend there is a music festival, street fair, or art fair somewhere in the city. I love that I walk to work. I love that my brother and his family are a 45 minute train or car ride away. I love the smell of the chocolate factory and the way it feels like home. I love the potential.
I love Lakeshore Drive and the view from the top of the Hancock. I love free outdoor ice skating. I love Ann Sather cinnamon rolls and stuffed dates at Avec. I love th skyline.
Its nice to visit, but I'm ready to be just comfortable again.
With the dark overtone of my previous post, I must say that there are parts of Chicago I love. I've enjoyed explored a new place. I've eaten at fantastic restaurants. I love being able to walk to all kinds of wonderful places. I love the variety of music venues and artists that the city attracts. I love the fact that on any spring or summer weekend there is a music festival, street fair, or art fair somewhere in the city. I love that I walk to work. I love that my brother and his family are a 45 minute train or car ride away. I love the smell of the chocolate factory and the way it feels like home. I love the potential.
I love Lakeshore Drive and the view from the top of the Hancock. I love free outdoor ice skating. I love Ann Sather cinnamon rolls and stuffed dates at Avec. I love th skyline.
Its nice to visit, but I'm ready to be just comfortable again.
Friday, January 15, 2010
New Beginnings
I haven't written anything in this blog since I moved to Chicago. At first this was a conscious decision. I was making a clean break from my past, seeing what I could make of this new life, looking for a new future and a new self.
But, after a few months, my reasons for not posting changed. My loneliness was overwhelming. I missed my friends. I missed the comfortable life I had left behind. I missed being in a city that I knew like the back of my hand. I missed enjoying my job.
That last one was a big one. I longed for days when my stomach wouldn't hurt out of anxiety and fear that I was going to screw up or get yelled at for no apparent reason (happened more than once). I longed to legitimately like the people I worked for.
None of this happened. Well, that's not entirely true. My stomach stopped hurting - not because the fear went away, but because it stopped mattering to me. It was replaced with dread. Every day I woke up thinking that I didn't want to go to work.
All that changed a week before Christmas. I found out that come April, I won't have this dreaded job anymore. I have to find something else to do. This statement was liberating. I don't have to keep doing this, and I will succeed in doing something else. Doors have been opened and the possibilities seem endless. I just needed a push.
Its not to say that the move hasn't had its good parts - my boyfriend has ended the lonely oppression. Still - I feel like I'm emerging into the sunlight (and hopefully taking him with me).
But, after a few months, my reasons for not posting changed. My loneliness was overwhelming. I missed my friends. I missed the comfortable life I had left behind. I missed being in a city that I knew like the back of my hand. I missed enjoying my job.
That last one was a big one. I longed for days when my stomach wouldn't hurt out of anxiety and fear that I was going to screw up or get yelled at for no apparent reason (happened more than once). I longed to legitimately like the people I worked for.
None of this happened. Well, that's not entirely true. My stomach stopped hurting - not because the fear went away, but because it stopped mattering to me. It was replaced with dread. Every day I woke up thinking that I didn't want to go to work.
All that changed a week before Christmas. I found out that come April, I won't have this dreaded job anymore. I have to find something else to do. This statement was liberating. I don't have to keep doing this, and I will succeed in doing something else. Doors have been opened and the possibilities seem endless. I just needed a push.
Its not to say that the move hasn't had its good parts - my boyfriend has ended the lonely oppression. Still - I feel like I'm emerging into the sunlight (and hopefully taking him with me).
Friday, August 08, 2008
A few more thoughts on the Kindle
I guess I'm just unlucky. I'm beginning to think I might have been better off with a Sony Reader. Somehow I got a defective Kindle. I had read about people having problems with it freezing, but didn't think I would need to worry about that. Well, I do.
So far (in the one day I have owned it), my Kindle has frozen 4 times. Frozen to the point where the key combination that is supposed to reset it doesn't work. Frozen to the point where I had to manually reset it (using a paperclip in a little hole behind the back cover.
Oh, and its "whispernet" doesn't work. It get a signal just fine, but then can't connect to the internet. Its not the cell reception - something in mine is broken.
At least the customer service at Amazon seems to be pretty darn good. They are overnighting me a new one, and then I have a month to return this one.
I'll update and let you all know if the new one has the same problems.
So far (in the one day I have owned it), my Kindle has frozen 4 times. Frozen to the point where the key combination that is supposed to reset it doesn't work. Frozen to the point where I had to manually reset it (using a paperclip in a little hole behind the back cover.
Oh, and its "whispernet" doesn't work. It get a signal just fine, but then can't connect to the internet. Its not the cell reception - something in mine is broken.
At least the customer service at Amazon seems to be pretty darn good. They are overnighting me a new one, and then I have a month to return this one.
I'll update and let you all know if the new one has the same problems.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Kindle
As I wrote on Cathy's blog today, I bought a Kindle. I thought I would share my thoughts on it with you all.
Now, as for the wireless connectivity of whispernet, I really don't know anything about it. I knew it wouldn't be good in the apartment since my cell phone reception is so terrible, and I wasn't surprised to find that I didn't have any connectivity. I'm sure I will enjoy being able to download books instantly while I am away from home (traveling within the US or during my commutes after I move to Chicago).
As far as the reading experience goes - its alright, but not so fantastic that I think I will use it all the time. I big part of the problem is the screen size and the time it takes to refresh the screen or put up the next page. I read very quickly, and the lag time is extremely noticable. Its particularly annoying if you accidentally press the forward button. I wish the page held more words as well. I have my font set on the smallest font size, but its still not enough. I wish it could hold as many words as a regular book page.
All in all, I'm glad I bought it, and I think I will get a lot of use out of it. Its really going to be nice to have it in Europe (otherwise I would need to lug around a ton of books). Still, if I didn't read as quickly I wouldn't need something like the Kindle so much, but because I read so quickly its flaws are more annoying.
Now, as for the wireless connectivity of whispernet, I really don't know anything about it. I knew it wouldn't be good in the apartment since my cell phone reception is so terrible, and I wasn't surprised to find that I didn't have any connectivity. I'm sure I will enjoy being able to download books instantly while I am away from home (traveling within the US or during my commutes after I move to Chicago).
As far as the reading experience goes - its alright, but not so fantastic that I think I will use it all the time. I big part of the problem is the screen size and the time it takes to refresh the screen or put up the next page. I read very quickly, and the lag time is extremely noticable. Its particularly annoying if you accidentally press the forward button. I wish the page held more words as well. I have my font set on the smallest font size, but its still not enough. I wish it could hold as many words as a regular book page.
All in all, I'm glad I bought it, and I think I will get a lot of use out of it. Its really going to be nice to have it in Europe (otherwise I would need to lug around a ton of books). Still, if I didn't read as quickly I wouldn't need something like the Kindle so much, but because I read so quickly its flaws are more annoying.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
I hate the new Microsoft stuff
A couple months ago, I bought a new laptop. After having major problems with converting a Microsoft Works document into Wordperfect (I work for the federal government so everything is in Wordperfect at work), I decided to upgrade to Word. Luckily I had no problem installing Word (the guys at Best Buy warned me that I might need a patch cause apparently Word doesn't recognize one of the versions of Works). Then I started using the Word 2007.
I hate the ribbon. I can't find any of the commands I normally use. I can't figure out how to turn on view codes. I'm annoyed that I had trouble finding Times New Roman (well, it took me a couple minutes). I don't care that the new default font is "easier on the eye" - everything I write for work has to be in Times. Its what people expect in my field.
I want the old Word back! I didn't switch to Apple cause I didn't want to have to learn a new user interface, and now I'm being forced to learn one by Microsoft. Why isn't there an option to view Word in the old user interface (also, I hate the new Internet Explorer on Vista - much harder to use the find in a document feature - which I use constantly on Westlaw!)
So annoyed (although my annoyance could be caused by the fact that I'm working from home on a weekend cause I have to make up for the stupid flight situation last Monday).
I hate the ribbon. I can't find any of the commands I normally use. I can't figure out how to turn on view codes. I'm annoyed that I had trouble finding Times New Roman (well, it took me a couple minutes). I don't care that the new default font is "easier on the eye" - everything I write for work has to be in Times. Its what people expect in my field.
I want the old Word back! I didn't switch to Apple cause I didn't want to have to learn a new user interface, and now I'm being forced to learn one by Microsoft. Why isn't there an option to view Word in the old user interface (also, I hate the new Internet Explorer on Vista - much harder to use the find in a document feature - which I use constantly on Westlaw!)
So annoyed (although my annoyance could be caused by the fact that I'm working from home on a weekend cause I have to make up for the stupid flight situation last Monday).
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Sleep Deprivation and Misery - It feels like a dream
I don't really know how to write about my trip home from Virginia. It was one of the worst experiences of my life, but I generally just grinned and bared it. What else was I going to do, what else was there to do? For those of you who didn't get random, slept deprived, slightly incoherent text messages from me, here's the story.
I arrived at the Williamsburg/Newport News airport an hour and a half before my flight. I waited in line to return my rental car (took 15 minutes), then waited in line to check in on at the AirTran automated computer thingy (another 15 minutes). The line to check in with an agent was super long so I was glad I wasn't checking a bag. The automated computer didn't "recognize my itinerary" so I had to wait in the line. That's when I discovered all the flights were delayed. Not a good start.
I finally get up to the gate about 20 minutes before my flight was supposed to leave (but no worries, it was delayed already) and checked in, got my tickets for both flights. I knew I was going to miss my flight from Atlanta to STL so I asked if the agent could check and book me on the later flight out. Great customer service person that he was, he told me that he couldn't help me and to check with the gate agent. I went through security (no problem there), then went to check with the gate agent. No gate agent. I went to a different gate, checked on my flight, found out I would definitely miss it (turns out it had already been cancelled), and was rebooked on a 9:58 flight (which was already delayed until 11:15). I called a hotel in Atlanta to find out if there were vacancies, but I didn't book it (a decision I would come to regret). Then I sat down and waited.
Around 5:30, we boarded our 2:30 flight to Atlanta. The flight was unremarkable. We arrived in Atlanta to chaos. Our flight sat on the runway for 45 minutes, essentially unmoving. We weren't allowed to get up and go to the bathroom. Finally, we got a gate, but when we got there, we waited another 20 minutes for a driver for the gate thing. As we deplaned, I knew I was entering a version of hell. I checked what gate the STL flight was leaving out of (now delayed till 1:10) and took the Atlanta tram to the C terminal. As I took the escalator up to the main level, I knew I had entered a version of hell.
People were everywhere and everyone looked angry. A line ran down the center of the airport, and the line spanned the entire AirTran section of the airport. All of the restaurants had lines out of the door. I wondered down to the Delta section (which was mysteriously less crowded than the AirTran section - even though they experienced the same weather in the morning - thunderstorms that were over long before I arrived in Atlanta). I ate dinner and drank a beer. Nothing to do but wait. I started chatting with another passenger. Around 11 we got kicked out of that place and headed to a second bar. Miraculously we got a table, and I decided it was a good idea to switch to diet coke. This bar was hot (I later found out the airport had shut off the air conditioning - yeah, standard protocol cause normally the airport would be empty then). At around 12:15, the random guy and I went our separate ways as his flight was supposed to leave at 12:45. At that point my flight was pushed back to 2:50 or so.
I continued waiting, and read a bad book.
As the night passed, more and more flights were cancelled. Not due to lack of pilots or planes, but due to lack of flight attendants. I watched as flights to New York, Bloomington, and Dayton got cancelled. At 2:30, they announced a gate change for my flight. When we arrived at that gate, there was a single man who announced that there were no flight attendants, but "they were working on it." I called that hotel back - no vacancies. I called many more hotels (hotels away from the city center) - no vacancies. I called car rental places (no one way cars available). I felt like crying. Finally, around 3, they announced that our flight was cancelled. People got in the long customer service line. I gave up.
I booked a flight on American ($300) for the next day, but I could tell it was overbooked and I wasn't yet ticketed. In a ridiculous move, I called my brother and sister-in-law (they have friends in Atlanta). My sister-in-law kindly didn't yell at me, but instead, listened to my story, and told me she would get their friends info to me in the morning (so I would have someplace to sleep while waiting for the American flight). A group of people booked a Limo back to STL, but I decided not to join them because I had booked the American flight (a second decision I would come to regret). At around 4, a girl came up to the group of us from the STL flight. She told us that a group from the Bloomington flight wanted to charter a bus, but the cost was too high since there weren't enough of them. Did we want to band together and charter a bus that would stop in STL then continue on to Bloomington. I decided that was worth a try - at least I could sleep on a bus. I called American, and discovered that I could cancel my booked flight since I wasn't ticketed. I cancelled and waited.
The customer service was terrible. AirTran didn't offer full hotel vouchers (even if hotels had been available), only a 50% off discount. They didn't give us food, and after midnight there was no cold/cool water in the airport until around 6:00 am. There was no coffee. The only good thing I can say about them was they never rolled their eyes at passengers. The worst thing I can say, is the story of a woman with a baby (and I mean BABY - less than 6 months old). At around 3 am she ran out of diapers. When the customer service rep was told this, her response was "well, I guess you should have planned better, shouldn't you?" Yes, I guess we all should have - and not taken AirTran.
At around 6, the two people organizing the bus riders finally started being able to get ahold of bus lines. Various cost estimates and leaving times started coming in. At around 7, we heard a bus that could pick us up in "about 35 minutes" for $150ish a person (ended up being $175). The bus arrived at the airport at about 8:00 and seeing that big purple bus was one of the greatest feelings in the world. Finally, I would be about to sleep. Because we had lost some people, the cost had gone up.
The bus ride was miserable. The bus had driven to Birmingham the night before with a group of passengers who were smart enough to get out of Atlanta to take Southwest flights home on Monday. It hadn't been serviced or cleaned before we got on. There was no toilet paper (oh and did I mention that I got my period at around 1 am the night before). At first the bus was cool, but I could feel the heater at my legs. By the time we made our first stop, I was getting warm, was thirsty, and hungry. We stopped in Northern Georgia so the bus could refuel. The bus was gone for ages. In my paranoid state, I began to worry that the driver had taken our cash and left us there. I wasn't doing well.
Once we reboarded the bus, it was astoundingly hot, and never got better. The heat poured from the heater at my legs, but the driver swore the heat wasn't on and the AC was (very little air was coming out of the vents). I slept fitfully. I attempted to read, but the lines blurred before my eyes and the motion made me nauseous. I listened to the same cd on repeat on my ipod (it helped me sleep to listen to it like that). They opened the windows at the top of the bus to help with the heat. It didn't.
Finally, at around 6 pm, we crossed the river into St. Louis. It was wonderful to see the Arch. The bus dropped us at the airport and my parents picked me up and drove me home. I ate some dinner, watched a bit of tv, and went to bed.
I learned this morning, that if I had waited for AirTran I would have been booked on a flight that departed this morning (Tuesday) at around 9:10 AM. At the time, I left on the bus, AirTran was saying the earliest flights available were at 5 pm tonight. I called today and got my whooping refund of $86 (the roundtrip flight cost me $310 - so about 1/4 of the cost of my trip). I'll take it, but that doesn't mean I like it. I know I'm not going to get very much more. It means that the bus only cost me $100 to get home.
I hate AirTran.
I arrived at the Williamsburg/Newport News airport an hour and a half before my flight. I waited in line to return my rental car (took 15 minutes), then waited in line to check in on at the AirTran automated computer thingy (another 15 minutes). The line to check in with an agent was super long so I was glad I wasn't checking a bag. The automated computer didn't "recognize my itinerary" so I had to wait in the line. That's when I discovered all the flights were delayed. Not a good start.
I finally get up to the gate about 20 minutes before my flight was supposed to leave (but no worries, it was delayed already) and checked in, got my tickets for both flights. I knew I was going to miss my flight from Atlanta to STL so I asked if the agent could check and book me on the later flight out. Great customer service person that he was, he told me that he couldn't help me and to check with the gate agent. I went through security (no problem there), then went to check with the gate agent. No gate agent. I went to a different gate, checked on my flight, found out I would definitely miss it (turns out it had already been cancelled), and was rebooked on a 9:58 flight (which was already delayed until 11:15). I called a hotel in Atlanta to find out if there were vacancies, but I didn't book it (a decision I would come to regret). Then I sat down and waited.
Around 5:30, we boarded our 2:30 flight to Atlanta. The flight was unremarkable. We arrived in Atlanta to chaos. Our flight sat on the runway for 45 minutes, essentially unmoving. We weren't allowed to get up and go to the bathroom. Finally, we got a gate, but when we got there, we waited another 20 minutes for a driver for the gate thing. As we deplaned, I knew I was entering a version of hell. I checked what gate the STL flight was leaving out of (now delayed till 1:10) and took the Atlanta tram to the C terminal. As I took the escalator up to the main level, I knew I had entered a version of hell.
People were everywhere and everyone looked angry. A line ran down the center of the airport, and the line spanned the entire AirTran section of the airport. All of the restaurants had lines out of the door. I wondered down to the Delta section (which was mysteriously less crowded than the AirTran section - even though they experienced the same weather in the morning - thunderstorms that were over long before I arrived in Atlanta). I ate dinner and drank a beer. Nothing to do but wait. I started chatting with another passenger. Around 11 we got kicked out of that place and headed to a second bar. Miraculously we got a table, and I decided it was a good idea to switch to diet coke. This bar was hot (I later found out the airport had shut off the air conditioning - yeah, standard protocol cause normally the airport would be empty then). At around 12:15, the random guy and I went our separate ways as his flight was supposed to leave at 12:45. At that point my flight was pushed back to 2:50 or so.
I continued waiting, and read a bad book.
As the night passed, more and more flights were cancelled. Not due to lack of pilots or planes, but due to lack of flight attendants. I watched as flights to New York, Bloomington, and Dayton got cancelled. At 2:30, they announced a gate change for my flight. When we arrived at that gate, there was a single man who announced that there were no flight attendants, but "they were working on it." I called that hotel back - no vacancies. I called many more hotels (hotels away from the city center) - no vacancies. I called car rental places (no one way cars available). I felt like crying. Finally, around 3, they announced that our flight was cancelled. People got in the long customer service line. I gave up.
I booked a flight on American ($300) for the next day, but I could tell it was overbooked and I wasn't yet ticketed. In a ridiculous move, I called my brother and sister-in-law (they have friends in Atlanta). My sister-in-law kindly didn't yell at me, but instead, listened to my story, and told me she would get their friends info to me in the morning (so I would have someplace to sleep while waiting for the American flight). A group of people booked a Limo back to STL, but I decided not to join them because I had booked the American flight (a second decision I would come to regret). At around 4, a girl came up to the group of us from the STL flight. She told us that a group from the Bloomington flight wanted to charter a bus, but the cost was too high since there weren't enough of them. Did we want to band together and charter a bus that would stop in STL then continue on to Bloomington. I decided that was worth a try - at least I could sleep on a bus. I called American, and discovered that I could cancel my booked flight since I wasn't ticketed. I cancelled and waited.
The customer service was terrible. AirTran didn't offer full hotel vouchers (even if hotels had been available), only a 50% off discount. They didn't give us food, and after midnight there was no cold/cool water in the airport until around 6:00 am. There was no coffee. The only good thing I can say about them was they never rolled their eyes at passengers. The worst thing I can say, is the story of a woman with a baby (and I mean BABY - less than 6 months old). At around 3 am she ran out of diapers. When the customer service rep was told this, her response was "well, I guess you should have planned better, shouldn't you?" Yes, I guess we all should have - and not taken AirTran.
At around 6, the two people organizing the bus riders finally started being able to get ahold of bus lines. Various cost estimates and leaving times started coming in. At around 7, we heard a bus that could pick us up in "about 35 minutes" for $150ish a person (ended up being $175). The bus arrived at the airport at about 8:00 and seeing that big purple bus was one of the greatest feelings in the world. Finally, I would be about to sleep. Because we had lost some people, the cost had gone up.
The bus ride was miserable. The bus had driven to Birmingham the night before with a group of passengers who were smart enough to get out of Atlanta to take Southwest flights home on Monday. It hadn't been serviced or cleaned before we got on. There was no toilet paper (oh and did I mention that I got my period at around 1 am the night before). At first the bus was cool, but I could feel the heater at my legs. By the time we made our first stop, I was getting warm, was thirsty, and hungry. We stopped in Northern Georgia so the bus could refuel. The bus was gone for ages. In my paranoid state, I began to worry that the driver had taken our cash and left us there. I wasn't doing well.
Once we reboarded the bus, it was astoundingly hot, and never got better. The heat poured from the heater at my legs, but the driver swore the heat wasn't on and the AC was (very little air was coming out of the vents). I slept fitfully. I attempted to read, but the lines blurred before my eyes and the motion made me nauseous. I listened to the same cd on repeat on my ipod (it helped me sleep to listen to it like that). They opened the windows at the top of the bus to help with the heat. It didn't.
Finally, at around 6 pm, we crossed the river into St. Louis. It was wonderful to see the Arch. The bus dropped us at the airport and my parents picked me up and drove me home. I ate some dinner, watched a bit of tv, and went to bed.
I learned this morning, that if I had waited for AirTran I would have been booked on a flight that departed this morning (Tuesday) at around 9:10 AM. At the time, I left on the bus, AirTran was saying the earliest flights available were at 5 pm tonight. I called today and got my whooping refund of $86 (the roundtrip flight cost me $310 - so about 1/4 of the cost of my trip). I'll take it, but that doesn't mean I like it. I know I'm not going to get very much more. It means that the bus only cost me $100 to get home.
I hate AirTran.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Jealousy
I left the restaurant glowing with a big silly grin on my face. It had been a four hour dinner with great wine, great food, and great conversation. He was perfect. We had so much in common. He is finishing up his phd and about to start law school in the fall. He's walked through African countries; he rock climbs; he SCUBA dives. He laughed at my jokes and made me laugh in return.
Too bad he's dating one of my best friends, and the dinner was my introduction to him.
I want one.
Too bad he's dating one of my best friends, and the dinner was my introduction to him.
I want one.
If You Plan It, They Will Come
Well, I'm officially not going to Italy by myself. First, my friend K agreed to come. It was a tough decision for her cause the month before my trip is the crazy time at her work. But, she loves Italy - spent a year there in college, and she couldn't pass up the opportunity (I told her I would subsidize her trip). After she booked her flight, my friends J & C (a married couple) started saying they might be interested. They booked their flights yesterday. So, instead of wondering around Italy alone, I'm going to be accompanied by three of my best friends (one of whom speaks Italian fluently) YAY!
Saturday, July 05, 2008
28
The number is surprisingly serious. It makes me feel old. I thought I would be in a different place in my life. I thought I'd own a home, not have credit card debt, or at the very least, know where I'm headed in life. The number makes me feel a bit groundless, a bit lost. I'm not sad - just unsteady.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
What would you do?
This post is alternatively titled - Am I a bad person...
I spent last weekend up in Chicago for a friend's batchelorette party. A good time was had by all, even if I can't really comprehend what makes a drag show batchelorette party worthy (note to any friends out there - if I ever manage to find a guy who wants to marry me - no drag show, karaoke maybe, drag no). I spent the weekend with my friend L and her fiance. I also got to see my future home for the first time.
Anyway, on Saturday, before the party, L & I didn't have much to do. So, we decided to go shopping (not that I don't regularly hit up Ann Taylor and Banana Republic at home, but there is something "special" about shopping on the Mag Mile). As we were walking toward the bus route, I saw something that surprised me. I didn't know how to react.
I saw a guy open-hand slap a girl about a half-block up.
I almost didn't believe it was real. It seemed like something out of a movie or like they were acting or something. That doesn't just happen on the street. My pace slowed. I wondered what to do.
Then, I saw the girl launch herself at the guy. She clearly wasn't trying to get away. She was trying to pull him back, while yelling at him, and hitting him in the arm. At this point, L finally noticed. We slowed and stopped. I told her I didn't feel comfortable walking forward and asked if we could go a different way. We turned.
Suddenly, I heard the girl screaming behind us. We turned toward her, and the guy was now lying on the ground. Other bystanders when running toward them. Laura and I started toward them, but then noticed a cop car parked behind an ambulance on the next street (we sought help from the cop car/ambulance, but no one was there). By the time we got back to the scene - someone had called 911. We hung around the area till the ambulance showed up, but then we headed out. I didn't try to speak to the cops or anything.
A couple things remain in my mind. What should I have done after I saw the guy slap the girl (if the rest hadn't happened)? It wasn't as if she was trying to get away, and we were just a couple more girls. I don't think getting involved would have been a good idea. Should I have called 911 then? Would they even respond to a call like that ("hey, Chicago emergency department...yeah, I just saw a guy slap a girl on the street in the West Loop...you might want to check that out")?
I spent last weekend up in Chicago for a friend's batchelorette party. A good time was had by all, even if I can't really comprehend what makes a drag show batchelorette party worthy (note to any friends out there - if I ever manage to find a guy who wants to marry me - no drag show, karaoke maybe, drag no). I spent the weekend with my friend L and her fiance. I also got to see my future home for the first time.
Anyway, on Saturday, before the party, L & I didn't have much to do. So, we decided to go shopping (not that I don't regularly hit up Ann Taylor and Banana Republic at home, but there is something "special" about shopping on the Mag Mile). As we were walking toward the bus route, I saw something that surprised me. I didn't know how to react.
I saw a guy open-hand slap a girl about a half-block up.
I almost didn't believe it was real. It seemed like something out of a movie or like they were acting or something. That doesn't just happen on the street. My pace slowed. I wondered what to do.
Then, I saw the girl launch herself at the guy. She clearly wasn't trying to get away. She was trying to pull him back, while yelling at him, and hitting him in the arm. At this point, L finally noticed. We slowed and stopped. I told her I didn't feel comfortable walking forward and asked if we could go a different way. We turned.
Suddenly, I heard the girl screaming behind us. We turned toward her, and the guy was now lying on the ground. Other bystanders when running toward them. Laura and I started toward them, but then noticed a cop car parked behind an ambulance on the next street (we sought help from the cop car/ambulance, but no one was there). By the time we got back to the scene - someone had called 911. We hung around the area till the ambulance showed up, but then we headed out. I didn't try to speak to the cops or anything.
A couple things remain in my mind. What should I have done after I saw the guy slap the girl (if the rest hadn't happened)? It wasn't as if she was trying to get away, and we were just a couple more girls. I don't think getting involved would have been a good idea. Should I have called 911 then? Would they even respond to a call like that ("hey, Chicago emergency department...yeah, I just saw a guy slap a girl on the street in the West Loop...you might want to check that out")?
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The Evil Lawyer
Have you ever noticed how, if a book has a lawyer character, that character almost always sucks. I mean, the character is almost always inflexible and boring and stuffy and rude (even if the character ends up being a good guy - aka Mr. Darcy in Bridget Jones). The lawyer is never witty and fun, never adventurous and quirky, rarely happy. Does this forecast a sad, boring, stuck up future for me?
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