Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Its official

As of today, I have informed my employer and co-workers that my last day on the job will be March 26, 2010. This morning the bf also informed them that he was leaving. I think that next month will involve us traveling a bit. I'm thinking the Grand Canyon, Phoenix, San Diego, LA, and San Francisco. Maybe doing a bit of the Northwest. I'm nervous and excited.

Friday, March 05, 2010

To Buy or Not to Buy

This weekend I'm headed out to look at apartments and houses and condos. I'm in a weird place right now given the fuzziness with my job situation -- I kind of have a job, but not really. I'm debating about whether to buy or rent. Here's my options:

1) rent a nice 2-3 bedroom apartment (dishwasher, washer/dryer hookups, garage, central air) for about $750-$1000 in a fun/good area.

2) buy a 3 bedroom house in a good school district (but not really fun area) for $200,000-$250,000.

3) buy a 2 bedroom condo (maintenance fee of $150/month) in a good area that's close to the fun area for about $115,000.

I have enough money for a good downpayment on either of the purchasing options, and the tax credit seems like an awesome deal (especially for the condos), but I'm not sure I want to be locked into a condo and I'm not sure I'm financially in a position to purchase a house before the end of April.

So I guess I'll see what I see. Anyone have any thoughts?

Thursday, March 04, 2010

I'm blind

Yesterday, I went to the eye doctor. Nothing terribly unusual there. I go once a year. I went to the same doctor I had gone to the year before. I knew that my vision had gotten worse.

As the title of this post indicates, I'm blind. My old perscription was a -9.0, and things had gotten pretty fuzzy (at least on the left side). When I told my doctor this, I got a 20 minute lecture on how I was too old for my eyes to still be growing (and getting worse), and that I wasn't really more blind that I had been before, and that she wasn't going to increase my perscription even though I wanted her to. I looked at her dubiously and told her, "Whatever, but you're fuzzy and you are sitting 2 feet from me." This launched her into another diatribe about how I wasn't gonna get a higher perscription out of her.

Then she did my vision test.

I walked out of there with a -9.5 lens in my right eye and a -10.0 in my left. She blamed my vision change on birth control. I blame it on practicing law.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Of drug tests and physicals

After a weekend of excitment (how times have changed when outlet mall shopping, a nice dinner, and a baby shower with old friends can be considered excitment), I came back to the real world of Chicago. Yesterday, I received a letter telling me the location of the medical facility for my physical as required for my potential future job.

This morning, I called to schedule my phyical, the phyical that is required before I can find out my start date or salary for potential future job. I thought - no big deal. But it is- next appointment date=APRIL 29. That's right, I'm left in limbo land for approximately 2 months. While I'm not terribly concerned about the physical, I am slightly worried. As you know, my elbow injury has left me with some limitations on my range of motion, and this has the potential to be a problem for potential future job. Also, apparently gall bladder disease can occasionally be a problem (and we all know that I no longer have a gall bladder).

This leaves me with a number of questions. Do I apply for other jobs (seems like a bad idea cause it might piss people off, including my references, since I already provisionally accepted potential future job)? What date do I decide for my last day at this one (oh I wish you were tomorrow finish date)? Should I go ahead and rent an apartment in the STL starting in April (my lease here ends at the end of March) or should I try to talk my landlord into an extra month?

On better news, I had my drug test today. That's a weird experience. They lock your purse in a cabinet, and your coat outside the door. No flushing or washing your hands until the person comes back.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Good News

Today I got some good news. I feel like I should be jumping up and down excited. I got a provisional job offer. Back in St. Louis. Doing a job that's a complete change of pace. I'll be doing something that might change people's lives - not just their pocket books. I also might be carrying a gun. Its crazy and exciting and somewhat unreal.

At the same time, I'm not as excited as I should be. My boyfriend can't even look me in the eye. I don't feel that he supports me. In fact, all I hear is "its not fair." I keep saying that I want him to come with me, but there's not much I can do.

I want to feel like its time to break out the Champagne, but I've got no one to drink it with.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010


Whenever people asked me why I was moving to Chicago, I always told them that I wanted "to see if I could." That's a stupid reason. Don't get me wrong - I've gotten a lot out of my move to Chicago.

With the dark overtone of my previous post, I must say that there are parts of Chicago I love. I've enjoyed explored a new place. I've eaten at fantastic restaurants. I love being able to walk to all kinds of wonderful places. I love the variety of music venues and artists that the city attracts. I love the fact that on any spring or summer weekend there is a music festival, street fair, or art fair somewhere in the city. I love that I walk to work. I love that my brother and his family are a 45 minute train or car ride away. I love the smell of the chocolate factory and the way it feels like home. I love the potential.

I love Lakeshore Drive and the view from the top of the Hancock. I love free outdoor ice skating. I love Ann Sather cinnamon rolls and stuffed dates at Avec. I love th skyline.

Its nice to visit, but I'm ready to be just comfortable again.

Friday, January 15, 2010

New Beginnings

I haven't written anything in this blog since I moved to Chicago. At first this was a conscious decision. I was making a clean break from my past, seeing what I could make of this new life, looking for a new future and a new self.

But, after a few months, my reasons for not posting changed. My loneliness was overwhelming. I missed my friends. I missed the comfortable life I had left behind. I missed being in a city that I knew like the back of my hand. I missed enjoying my job.

That last one was a big one. I longed for days when my stomach wouldn't hurt out of anxiety and fear that I was going to screw up or get yelled at for no apparent reason (happened more than once). I longed to legitimately like the people I worked for.

None of this happened. Well, that's not entirely true. My stomach stopped hurting - not because the fear went away, but because it stopped mattering to me. It was replaced with dread. Every day I woke up thinking that I didn't want to go to work.

All that changed a week before Christmas. I found out that come April, I won't have this dreaded job anymore. I have to find something else to do. This statement was liberating. I don't have to keep doing this, and I will succeed in doing something else. Doors have been opened and the possibilities seem endless. I just needed a push.

Its not to say that the move hasn't had its good parts - my boyfriend has ended the lonely oppression. Still - I feel like I'm emerging into the sunlight (and hopefully taking him with me).