Sunday, September 30, 2007


These past couple of months have been difficult for me. I've had a lot of difficulty with the little things - going for weeks without being able to shower, being forbidden to workout in any meaningful way, not being able to wear sleeves, not being able to put my hair in a ponytail (and remember I couldn't shower). All minor annoyances that have added up to a very moody and unhappy Megan. Wearing an arm brace has made me feel like a bit of a socialfreak. My parents worry about me for no reason (mom freaked out when she couldn't reach me one day, thinking that I had been in a car accident or something - and those of you who know me, know that I rarely answer my phone).

Now, my arms has begun to heal, and I really hope that I will get all of my abilities back - that this time next year I'll be able to do everything I could do before. Still, I'm beginning to freak out a little. The suplanation and pronation aren't improving at all. It makes me worry that maybe they never will - I know its concerning my physical therapist as well, but she keeps telling me not to worry yet. I'm hopeful, but afraid.

On the life front, I'm afraid that I'm becoming a bad friend to one of my good friends here. I don't want to go out with her because I just can't hear about her ex-bf any more. Its been over two months since they broke up, and hearing her agonize continuously over an ass who she can clearly do better than is driving me a bit daft.

Not to mention the fact that I let my heart get involved with someone I knew better than to care about. When will I learn to trust my instincts about people and not trust them until they have given me a reason to trust. Plus then there's the weight gain that has come with sitting on my butt instead of working out 5+ days a week. I'm working on it, but right now I feel fat and unattractive and freak like. I guess I've had better self-esteem days.

So, yeah, that's generally how I'm doing. I'll try to be more positive the next time I post, I promise.

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