addiction

So, I've known for quite some time that I'm addicted to caffeine. I can't go a day without a jolt or I get terrible headaches. But, I always thought that I was just addicted to caffeine. I never would have guessed that it was also soda - not just the drug, but the product.

The first couple days of my no soda ban were easy. Switching to coffee instead of soda was fine in the mornings. I sort of like the ritual of brewing coffee - the warm comforting rich bitter smell waking me up and easing me into my day. I like filling up my mug and hopping in the car to go to work. It feels very grown up.

Still, a few days ago, I began to have a slight understanding of what an alcoholic feel like (I'm not comparing, but beginning to understand just how hard it actually is). For the past week or so, around 2 pm, I've started craving a Diet Pepsi. I want it so bad. I used to get one every afternoon at that time, and I know I have the fifty cents in my desk drawer and that the soda is mere steps away. I think to myself, "Its just one soda. One soda won't hurt you. It will help you get through this long afternoon." But, I have somehow managed to resist.

The problem is, I know its never just one soda. If I let myself get one, I'll want one again tomorrow. I know that having one an afternoon will lead me to start buying 12 packs again (and going through about 3 twelve packs a week). Maybe I don't need to give up soda forever (though I suspect that I do), but still, for right now, I know I have to resist.

No run last night, instead I managed to deal with some car issues, buy new running shoes, and work late - gonna run 3 tonight.
Weight: 167.4