Wednesday, January 23, 2008

cookie dough

As some of you may know, I have a bit of a binge eating problem. I generally live in denial that its really a problem, and most of the time, I manage to suppress the general urge to binge. Still, certain foods are trigger foods, and no matter how bad I know they are for me, I can't resist eating myself sick. For me, cookie dough is one of those foods.

Most of the time, I can pass the prepackaged rolls at the grocery store and not even think about the craving. Most of the time, I don't long for the taste and the full feeling that comes from cookie dough before I get sick. I don't generally buy it (unless I'm really depressed and well, ok, sometimes when I'm super stressed). But, when its in the house, sitting there, open, with no purpose other than snacking - evil and tempting.

My roommate bought a tub of cookie dough for her birthday party. She intended it to be a drunk food - possibly to bake cookies with, mostly to be eaten with a spoon. She opened the container earlier that day (and how proud of myself I was that I didn't open the GIANT TUB of cookie dough that had been sitting in my fridge for three days and dig in before then), and that was a good portion of my lunch that day. I ate it again the next day, and the one after that, and the one after that, and again today. I've gorged myself on giant spoonfuls. I think a good part of my continued hangover on Monday was due to dough consumption rather than alcohol consumption. As long as it sits in my fridge, I am tempted and generally give in to that temptation. The sad thing is, I don't even like chocolate chip cookie dough - I love sugar cookie dough, but the chocolate chips make it ... blah:-P yet still, I eat and eat and make myself sick.

Sometimes, especially times like this, I worry that I should seek treatment for my binge food eating. Why do I do this to myself (note that I would NEVER buy a GIANT TUB of cookie dough on my own - although I have been known to buy a roll of cookie dough and eat myself sick on those too)? Grrr...

Run: 5 miles - 1 hour, 1 minute
Weight: 169.2

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