Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Decisions, Decisions

Prior to my last post, I had been thinking about something for a bit, sort of a dream, but I thought it was out of my reach. That it was something that PB wasn't going to want, and I've asked too much of him the past couple of years to throw something else at him. A couple weeks ago, we went to a friend's wedding in Chicago and caught up with a bunch of people that I hadn't realized I missed. At the wedding, I talked about my dream with one of my friends and about how I couldn't put PB through all that. She asked me if I had asked him, and I realized that I had not. I just assumed he wouldn't agree to it or wouldn't support me making even more changes to his life. So, after my last blog post, I asked him. I told him what I was thinking, what I was dreaming, how I was feeling, and I was happily surprised that he wasn't against it. I'm constantly amazed my his faith in me, and his willingness to support me.

So, this week I took the first step. I filled out an application. Now, I have to wait. It will be a long waiting period - and it leaves me in limbo for a long time, but this finally feels right. It feels right in a great, jumping up and down excitment kind of way. It makes my heart glow. Perhaps its a step I should have taken several years ago, but now, after years of dreaming, I'm ready to try. I may fail. Most people fail, but that's alright. I'll never know if I don't try.

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