Cha-Cha-Changes

Today at work, I had a four hour training on dealing with change or more accurately, transitions. I won't say that that the training was terribly helpful, but it was interesting to see what "management" thinks we need to learn. Right now, dramatic things are changing in my office, and its not my favorite. The problem isn't the changes - I actually think they will be great for everyone involved, maybe more work. No the problem is that the things we are going to be using aren't ready yet. Its a struggle to figure out what we are supposed to be doing when the software we are supposed to be using isn't working yet. We'll get there, but we're not there yet.

In fact, I feel like the training was more applicable with my personal life rather than my job. In my personal life, I can take the steps necessary to let go of the past and embrace the future. I don't really have that same control with job.

Decisions, Decisions

Prior to my last post, I had been thinking about something for a bit, sort of a dream, but I thought it was out of my reach. That it was something that PB wasn't going to want, and I've asked too much of him the past couple of years to throw something else at him. A couple weeks ago, we went to a friend's wedding in Chicago and caught up with a bunch of people that I hadn't realized I missed. At the wedding, I talked about my dream with one of my friends and about how I couldn't put PB through all that. She asked me if I had asked him, and I realized that I had not. I just assumed he wouldn't agree to it or wouldn't support me making even more changes to his life. So, after my last blog post, I asked him. I told him what I was thinking, what I was dreaming, how I was feeling, and I was happily surprised that he wasn't against it. I'm constantly amazed my his faith in me, and his willingness to support me.

So, this week I took the first step. I filled out an application. Now, I have to wait. It will be a long waiting period - and it leaves me in limbo for a long time, but this finally feels right. It feels right in a great, jumping up and down excitment kind of way. It makes my heart glow. Perhaps its a step I should have taken several years ago, but now, after years of dreaming, I'm ready to try. I may fail. Most people fail, but that's alright. I'll never know if I don't try.