Thursday, February 08, 2007

I'm not an addict, its cool...

So, yesterday I learned a few things about myself. First, I am an addict, a caffeine addict. I thought I had kicked this habit quite some time ago when I first gave up soda, but yesterday proved me wrong. About a year ago, I reintroduced caffeine into my diet, and since I've been working, I've had a cup of coffee to start my day every morning. Yesterday, I skipped the coffee because we were out of creamer and splenda. I figured I would be ok without it. Man was I wrong. By about 2:30 the headache had set in. All I wanted to do was curl up in a little ball and sleep for like 3 days. I knew immediately that my old caffeine addiction was back, so I hurried downstairs and purchased myself some diet pepsi (yay 2 cans for $1). I downed them almost immediately (didn't really take a break between cans) and then waited for the caffeine addicts bliss to kick in. Within an hour I was feeling almost human again. I've learned my lesson, do not fight the caffeine unless you are willing to wage a true battle. Yesterday was not the day for that fight - perhaps some day when I don't need to run four miles and meet up with a boy later.

I also realized that working out gives me a ton of physical self confidence. While my weight has moved in the wrong direction this week (I warned you that my superbowl gluttony would haunt me - who understand why my metabolism is soooo bad), I don't feel bad about myself or that I look "fat." Instead, I feel like a lean mean running machine. I haven't stuck to my minimum points since Sunday, but I haven't had any more days where I used more than 5 flex points so I'm also generally eating well. Its wonderful to feel good about my body image even when I'm not satisfied about my weight.

The third thing I realized is that I can't keep up the personal training and the running. Tuesday night I had another session (my last one that I had previously paid for) and he had me do squats and lunges and single leg stuff. So, yesterday on the treadmill, my legs felt like lead. I didn't think I could run the full four miles. After one mile, I promised myself that if I finished 2 I could stop. Then when I got to 2, I promised that when I got to 3 I could walk the last mile. When I got to 3, I tried walking fast, but it turned out that jogging slow actually hurt my butt less. So, I finished what was supposed to have been my speed workout at my slowest pace in a really long time (ug...4 miles in 46:02), but at least I finished. No more randomly working out my butt on one of my two non-running days. At least not until the half-marathon is over. Part of this is that I actually really like my legs/butt anyway, so I don't really feel the need to make them hurt without running.


Weight (158 - yeah sucks)
Miles:4 (46:02 yesterday), 2 miles to run today

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