Friday, March 30, 2007

and fashion magazines are supposed to make us feel bad about ourselves

Last night on a whim, I purchased a Real Simple magazine. My thought process at the grocery store checkout was something like, eh, that magazine is supposed to be good and hey, I'm moving into my own place soon so ideas on how to have a real simple life would be good.

I'm now convinced that magazine is designed solely for the purpose of making average people feel bad about themselves. Its sort of like Martha Stewart, only younger and hipper, and without the scandal. Some of the oh so wonderful tips that I'll be sure to add to my life include: making your own clock out of materials that cost over $100 (the clock uses chalkboard paint and you get to write in the numbers with chalk) and suggesting that you not purchase wipes or cleaning solution for your stainless steel appliances, but instead make your own cleaning solution. Ummm...yeah...honestly, who has time for this shit? I was actually extremely happy with myself when I bought some wipes to keep in my bathroom so I could clean up my makeup mess every day. Wipes are our friends...its not like the were suggesting making your own cleaner to be environmentally friendly, I think it was supposed to save you time and money. Ummm...no, it just means that my kitchen would look gross all the time.

Really, perhaps I'm just too lazy. Maybe people really do use clocks as bookends or make broaches into magnets to make their fridges look prettier or spend $800 on a trench coat. Its good to know that people care about this kind of stuff (though I suspect that the largest market for this crazy household thing is not yuppy housewives, but 30 year old gay men instead). Ultimately though, I think most people buy the magazine to feel like they are part of the aestetic, part of the crowd of "simple" living folks.

I really shouldn't judge this crowd. I'm not much of simple liver myself. I like my modern conveniences, and hell, I bought a magazine called Real Simple thinking that it would help me be organized and clean and such in my new apartment with KK. I should have known that's not really how things work. Next time, I'll save myself the trouble and just buy a People instead ;-) at least then I'll only feel fat, not fat and lazy...

Weight: 160 (fuuuuuck!!)
Miles: 3 (31:04)

1 comment:

Elisabeth said...

I have to ask...what's a "whip" in the bathroom....do you mean wipe?

If not, I'm intrigued. New S&M gear?