I've been thinking about a pair of shoes lately. They were the perfect pair of summer sandals. They were cute and black and strappy and the heels weren't too high and the heels weren't too low. They looked great with a sexy dress or with work pants. They never caused blisters. They packed really easily. People were constantly complementing me on them.
These shoes didn't leave me because they went out of style, no, they died a glorious death that involved rubber bands, masking tape, dancing barefoot, and Boston. Its a night I won't soon forget, but it ended with my beloved shoes in a trash can. Its been over a year since that fateful night, and I haven't found any shoes to replace them. All the replacement shoes just can't live up - they cause blisters (I'd don't get blisters from running these days...noooo...just from damn uncomfortable shoes), the back strap falls off, they are too high, or too platformy. They just aren't perfect.
I told one of my coworkers about the perfect shoes the other day because they are the only shoes I have ever worn until they literally fell apart. Ever since then I've been thinking of those shoes. Today I decided to search for them. Maybe zappos could give me back my perfect shoes or ebay. Alas, its not to be. While the shoes are available on ebay, they aren't in my size. Anybody know what the name of those shoes is? It might help with the search. I think I need to move on...sigh...
Weight: 159.5
No running today
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
life is weird
So last night I continued my trend of picking up guys in weird places. This time was in the sauna of a gym I never go to but had paid for day pass so I could swim laps. I had just gotten done with forty-five minutes of swimming - nothing too strenuous, but a nice relaxing free style. Generally, I find swimming boring since you can't really listen to music while swimming (I don't have a waterproof ipod case), but yesterday's swim was pretty great. It helped me clear my mind and get through the general sadness that has been hanging over me since the events of Monday. Anyway, went into the sauna to sweat a little more and dry my hair a little bit (yeah I know that's weird too...but being in the sauna feels good). I ended up staying so I could talk to this guy - he was pretty nice and made me laugh. I couldn't have looked worse either - I had that ratty swimming hair. My face was completely red from being in the sauna. In other words, I did not look hot.
Nothing serious here cause the boy is leaving for boot camp (Marines) in less than a month, but that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun. Maybe the best part was that it came out in conversation that I am much thinner than I used to be. This is maybe the first time that I have told people about my weight issues from the beginning. It kinda feels nice being up front about this. Anyway, having dinner with him tomorrow.
:-D
Miles: 2.8 (30 minutes)
Weight: 160
Nothing serious here cause the boy is leaving for boot camp (Marines) in less than a month, but that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun. Maybe the best part was that it came out in conversation that I am much thinner than I used to be. This is maybe the first time that I have told people about my weight issues from the beginning. It kinda feels nice being up front about this. Anyway, having dinner with him tomorrow.
:-D
Miles: 2.8 (30 minutes)
Weight: 160
Monday, April 16, 2007
St. Louis Half Marathon
I did it. It was an incredible experience, and I will try to do it justice here. What surprised me the most was how emotionally invested I became in the race.
First, I have to say how glad I am that Cathy agreed to run the race with me and fly out here this weekend. If I hadn't known she had signed up, bought an airline ticket, and was coming, I might have bailed on this race when my original running partner dropped out. Although I didn't run the entire race with her, she made this race for me. I can't imagine doing it without her.
As for the race, I'll try my best to relive the experience here:
Before the race started it was a very chilly morning in the low to mid 30s. Luckily the sky was totally clear; Saturday had been a day of rain, all day. It was cold and windy and wet and would have been horrible to run in. Sunday would turn out to be perfect. We were cold at the starting line, dressed in layers with trash bags and gloves we had picked up at the expo on Saturday. A couple of cute boys were lined up behind us, and we did some chatting with them. I had overheard them saying that they aimed to finish the half in less than 2 hours, so I knew they would drop us immediately after we crossed the starting line.
The race started promptly at 7 a.m. I had never experienced a race like this one before. We were pretty far back so the race started, and we stood still, waiting. We got to take two steps forward, but then we waited some more. It was almost 10 minutes before we got to the starting line. That's when the race began for real. I sort of set the pace for Cathy and I, a nice slow jog at about a 12 minute mile. We got passed by a bunch of people, but we also passed a bunch of people. We were neither the fastest nor the slowest people out there. Before we had even reached the first mile marker, we had shed our trash bags. I felt good - my legs didn't feel tired, my knees didn't hurt, and being part of that crowd was pretty amazing. As we headed down into Soulard, I shed my gloves and just kept going. There's a pretty major uphill before the run through the brewery (the the AB Clydesdales), and we walked a good portion of that hill. Smelling the hops as we flew down the hill inside the brewery was pretty awesome. I love the smell of beer brewing - its a combination of yeast and hops and smells as pretzelly and like home to me.
At about mile four I figured out that I needed to pee. I headed over toward some port-a-potties, but the line was too long and I didn't feel like stopping and waiting just yet, so we kept running. As we headed back to mile 6, which is pretty close to the start, I started to get emotional. The water stop woman sort of said some encouragement with my name (my name was on my number cause I registered early), and I almost lost it. For the first time, I found myself close to tears, and I had no idea why. I felt great. I didn't feel like I had already run 6 miles. I felt as fresh as if I was just starting a training run.
About this time, I noticed that we were hearing names being called. We were running pretty close to where the finish line would be, and we could hear as each of the early finishers came through. We watched them run past us in the opposite direction. For me it was incredible. I'll never be that fast. I don't envy them really and they don't make me feel bad about what I've accomplished. Instead they make me feel good. We were training at the same time, and we were running on the same course. They are truly impressive people and deserve accolades and it is a wonder to watch them run.
About that time we found empty port-a-potties, and I got my pee - THANK GOD!
Right about mile 7 Cathy and I parted ways. She hadn't done much training on hills, and most of my training was done on much hilly conditions than the race course. She needed to walk up the hills and I enjoyed running up them. I felt bad for leaving her, but I really wanted to do my best.
Shortly thereafter, I started running next to an older gentleman. He would be my companion until mile 9.5 when the marathon course split from the half marathon course. He was probably in his mid-seventies and had completed a marathon in all fifty states. St. Louis was his 10th marathon of 2007. Oh, and he was walking. His walking pace was the same as my running pace. We chatted and I got to hear about his life experiences. I learned that he had a total knee replacement and than 15 days later (15!!) he had completed a 5k. 8 weeks later he had done a full marathon. He was an astounding person, and I'm so glad I got to have the experience of meeting him and hearing his story. I don't run races with my ipod on, and that's part of the reason why. I wouldn't want to miss the race experience - chatting with random new people (like that man or the women I met who were also running their first half marathon). Hearing the random bagpipe player, folk band, or acoustic guitarist is part of what makes running a race so much fun. Its more than just running 13.1 miles - its about experiencing those miles.
I almost lost it again a little after mile 10. I was starting to feel tired, the sun was blazing in my eyes, and I was warm. That's when I saw my friends Heather and Mark, cheering for me. I'd never had anyone come out to cheer for me before that wasn't family. I'm tearing up right now just thinking about it. I waved frantically at them as I went past, all the while doing my best to keep from sobbing with joy. If I had started crying, I wouldn't have stopped, and if I was sobbing, I wouldn't have been able to breathe. This would not have been good.
At mile 11, a group of guys had set up a stand giving out beer. Ahh - living in a city that is the home of beer. I passed because I didn't want to take in anything at that point that I hadn't trained with - I didn't need to have stomach problems in the last few minutes. I found out later that Cathy gladly accepted a beer - gotta admit that after a run, nothing tastes quite as good.
I felt great going into the last couple miles. The hills seemed like nothing, and I knew I was almost there. There actually were crowds to cheer you on. I've got to admit that to some extent the people saying "don't give up, you're almost there" were a bit patronizing to me. I know they mean well, but no way was I going to give up. At that point walking wasn't an option, I knew I had this thing in the bag. The only thing that hurt on me were my feet (which was a new experience for me).
Somewhere between mile 10 and 12, I started getting passed my the fast marathon runners. They were incredible. It was awesome to hear the crowds cheering for them, telling them how great they were doing. They knew they were out of contention for first, but like me, at this point for them it was a race against the clock. I have no desire to run a marathon myself, but I am constantly astounded by that feat. It lifted me up to see them charge past me in those miles.
When I came to the mile 26 sign I knew I had more in me so I sprinted the finish line. I finished within seconds of a marathon runner, and it was pretty dang cool to hear his name get announced over the loud speaker. He was number 12 of all marathon finishers.
I lost it again when they placed the finishers ribbon around my neck. This time I allowed myself to cry a little - I think they might have thought I was in pain, but those were tears of pure joy and pride. I never would have believed that I could do it, that I could run a half marathon, before I started trying. The fact that I am not a natural runner, could hardly run at all as a child, and yet have achieved something so amazing makes me believe in the ability of the human spirit. If I can do this, what limits really are there for me?
Miles: 13.1 (chip time 2:39:25)
First, I have to say how glad I am that Cathy agreed to run the race with me and fly out here this weekend. If I hadn't known she had signed up, bought an airline ticket, and was coming, I might have bailed on this race when my original running partner dropped out. Although I didn't run the entire race with her, she made this race for me. I can't imagine doing it without her.
As for the race, I'll try my best to relive the experience here:
Before the race started it was a very chilly morning in the low to mid 30s. Luckily the sky was totally clear; Saturday had been a day of rain, all day. It was cold and windy and wet and would have been horrible to run in. Sunday would turn out to be perfect. We were cold at the starting line, dressed in layers with trash bags and gloves we had picked up at the expo on Saturday. A couple of cute boys were lined up behind us, and we did some chatting with them. I had overheard them saying that they aimed to finish the half in less than 2 hours, so I knew they would drop us immediately after we crossed the starting line.
The race started promptly at 7 a.m. I had never experienced a race like this one before. We were pretty far back so the race started, and we stood still, waiting. We got to take two steps forward, but then we waited some more. It was almost 10 minutes before we got to the starting line. That's when the race began for real. I sort of set the pace for Cathy and I, a nice slow jog at about a 12 minute mile. We got passed by a bunch of people, but we also passed a bunch of people. We were neither the fastest nor the slowest people out there. Before we had even reached the first mile marker, we had shed our trash bags. I felt good - my legs didn't feel tired, my knees didn't hurt, and being part of that crowd was pretty amazing. As we headed down into Soulard, I shed my gloves and just kept going. There's a pretty major uphill before the run through the brewery (the the AB Clydesdales), and we walked a good portion of that hill. Smelling the hops as we flew down the hill inside the brewery was pretty awesome. I love the smell of beer brewing - its a combination of yeast and hops and smells as pretzelly and like home to me.
At about mile four I figured out that I needed to pee. I headed over toward some port-a-potties, but the line was too long and I didn't feel like stopping and waiting just yet, so we kept running. As we headed back to mile 6, which is pretty close to the start, I started to get emotional. The water stop woman sort of said some encouragement with my name (my name was on my number cause I registered early), and I almost lost it. For the first time, I found myself close to tears, and I had no idea why. I felt great. I didn't feel like I had already run 6 miles. I felt as fresh as if I was just starting a training run.
About this time, I noticed that we were hearing names being called. We were running pretty close to where the finish line would be, and we could hear as each of the early finishers came through. We watched them run past us in the opposite direction. For me it was incredible. I'll never be that fast. I don't envy them really and they don't make me feel bad about what I've accomplished. Instead they make me feel good. We were training at the same time, and we were running on the same course. They are truly impressive people and deserve accolades and it is a wonder to watch them run.
About that time we found empty port-a-potties, and I got my pee - THANK GOD!
Right about mile 7 Cathy and I parted ways. She hadn't done much training on hills, and most of my training was done on much hilly conditions than the race course. She needed to walk up the hills and I enjoyed running up them. I felt bad for leaving her, but I really wanted to do my best.
Shortly thereafter, I started running next to an older gentleman. He would be my companion until mile 9.5 when the marathon course split from the half marathon course. He was probably in his mid-seventies and had completed a marathon in all fifty states. St. Louis was his 10th marathon of 2007. Oh, and he was walking. His walking pace was the same as my running pace. We chatted and I got to hear about his life experiences. I learned that he had a total knee replacement and than 15 days later (15!!) he had completed a 5k. 8 weeks later he had done a full marathon. He was an astounding person, and I'm so glad I got to have the experience of meeting him and hearing his story. I don't run races with my ipod on, and that's part of the reason why. I wouldn't want to miss the race experience - chatting with random new people (like that man or the women I met who were also running their first half marathon). Hearing the random bagpipe player, folk band, or acoustic guitarist is part of what makes running a race so much fun. Its more than just running 13.1 miles - its about experiencing those miles.
I almost lost it again a little after mile 10. I was starting to feel tired, the sun was blazing in my eyes, and I was warm. That's when I saw my friends Heather and Mark, cheering for me. I'd never had anyone come out to cheer for me before that wasn't family. I'm tearing up right now just thinking about it. I waved frantically at them as I went past, all the while doing my best to keep from sobbing with joy. If I had started crying, I wouldn't have stopped, and if I was sobbing, I wouldn't have been able to breathe. This would not have been good.
At mile 11, a group of guys had set up a stand giving out beer. Ahh - living in a city that is the home of beer. I passed because I didn't want to take in anything at that point that I hadn't trained with - I didn't need to have stomach problems in the last few minutes. I found out later that Cathy gladly accepted a beer - gotta admit that after a run, nothing tastes quite as good.
I felt great going into the last couple miles. The hills seemed like nothing, and I knew I was almost there. There actually were crowds to cheer you on. I've got to admit that to some extent the people saying "don't give up, you're almost there" were a bit patronizing to me. I know they mean well, but no way was I going to give up. At that point walking wasn't an option, I knew I had this thing in the bag. The only thing that hurt on me were my feet (which was a new experience for me).
Somewhere between mile 10 and 12, I started getting passed my the fast marathon runners. They were incredible. It was awesome to hear the crowds cheering for them, telling them how great they were doing. They knew they were out of contention for first, but like me, at this point for them it was a race against the clock. I have no desire to run a marathon myself, but I am constantly astounded by that feat. It lifted me up to see them charge past me in those miles.
When I came to the mile 26 sign I knew I had more in me so I sprinted the finish line. I finished within seconds of a marathon runner, and it was pretty dang cool to hear his name get announced over the loud speaker. He was number 12 of all marathon finishers.
I lost it again when they placed the finishers ribbon around my neck. This time I allowed myself to cry a little - I think they might have thought I was in pain, but those were tears of pure joy and pride. I never would have believed that I could do it, that I could run a half marathon, before I started trying. The fact that I am not a natural runner, could hardly run at all as a child, and yet have achieved something so amazing makes me believe in the ability of the human spirit. If I can do this, what limits really are there for me?
Miles: 13.1 (chip time 2:39:25)
Saturday, April 14, 2007
one more day
In about 15 minutes, I'm leaving to pick Cathy up from the airport. I'm bringing my digital camera, and we're gonna go do the St. Louis sites today. So exciting. The race is tomorrow and today we are going by the expo to get our packets then grabbing lunch and going up in the arch. I think a brewery tour might also be in store. YAY Cathy visiting!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
a different kind of women's issues
This month's edition of Runner's World actually raised an issue I've been meaning to write about for a while - women in running. Amazingly, I think a lot of people in my generation are completely unaware of how much this sport has changed for women in the 30 years or so. It used to be believed that distance running hurt women's reproductive abilities. Women weren't allowed to even try to prove that they could handle running. No one believed we were capable of doing it.
Not until 1971 were women officially allowed to enter the Boston marathon. There wasn't a women's Olympic marathon until 1982 - 1982!! Today, its recognized that women can handle long distance running, and in fact, women may excel at distance running even more than men. Unlike many other sports, in ultra-marathons, women can actually beat men. For example, Pam Reed has won the Badwater Ultramarathon twice.
It makes me realize that my running is also a proud feminist statement. I'm not just taking care of myself, but I'm continuing to stand up for my right to run. Just like I can't imagine being held back in my career by my sex, I can't imagine being held back in my ability to run a race because I'm a woman. Within my lifetime, this is such a major change. Its hard for me to even imagine the world as it was for those trailblazers in the 60s and 70s. It makes me feel responsible to stand up for what I believe in. The world won't change unless somebody makes it. This is also why women's races are so important. Its not that we should exclude men, its more that we need to recognize how much women have overcome. The women's movement has revolutionized our world as much as the civil rights movement did, and I think its important to acknowledge that history. Women were and still are a disadvantaged group. We should be proud of our achievements.
I also think its interesting to note that the rise of women in running also correlates to the decline in elite running. I never hear that women are to blame for this decline, but perhaps that is part of what is underlying the argument that slow runners are degrading the sport. Over shorter races women generally are slower. The advent of running as an activity to stay in shape is probably pretty connected to women. Again, that's not a bad thing. Women have changed the sport, and those women who did deserve all of our admiration.
Weight: 158
Miles: 3 (treadmill 32:40)
Not until 1971 were women officially allowed to enter the Boston marathon. There wasn't a women's Olympic marathon until 1982 - 1982!! Today, its recognized that women can handle long distance running, and in fact, women may excel at distance running even more than men. Unlike many other sports, in ultra-marathons, women can actually beat men. For example, Pam Reed has won the Badwater Ultramarathon twice.
It makes me realize that my running is also a proud feminist statement. I'm not just taking care of myself, but I'm continuing to stand up for my right to run. Just like I can't imagine being held back in my career by my sex, I can't imagine being held back in my ability to run a race because I'm a woman. Within my lifetime, this is such a major change. Its hard for me to even imagine the world as it was for those trailblazers in the 60s and 70s. It makes me feel responsible to stand up for what I believe in. The world won't change unless somebody makes it. This is also why women's races are so important. Its not that we should exclude men, its more that we need to recognize how much women have overcome. The women's movement has revolutionized our world as much as the civil rights movement did, and I think its important to acknowledge that history. Women were and still are a disadvantaged group. We should be proud of our achievements.
I also think its interesting to note that the rise of women in running also correlates to the decline in elite running. I never hear that women are to blame for this decline, but perhaps that is part of what is underlying the argument that slow runners are degrading the sport. Over shorter races women generally are slower. The advent of running as an activity to stay in shape is probably pretty connected to women. Again, that's not a bad thing. Women have changed the sport, and those women who did deserve all of our admiration.
Weight: 158
Miles: 3 (treadmill 32:40)
Monday, April 09, 2007
guilt
Today's run was really bad. It started out great and ended just terribly.
I'll start with the worst first. I almost hit a bicyclist on my way out of the park. I was entirely at fault. I just didn't see him until I almost pulled right into him. I know that is no excuse, and I'm so grateful that he started screaming at me as soon as he saw me pulling out. It probably saved his life. As a bicyclist, I'm horrified by this, mortified really. Is there really a hand gesture that's appropriate to say, "ummm...sorry I almost hit you, really glad you aren't dead?" or "screaming at me is totally appropriate, and I'm a moron." I don't think I found the proper response (well, other than slamming on my breaks and not hitting the guy). It still freaks me out; I just wasn't expecting a bicycle to come flying around that corner. Next time I will be.
Then there was the run itself. I started having to pee about a mile in. So every restroom I came to, I tried to go in to use. Only they were all locked. As I came up to the third restroom, I crossed a rock path and ran up the grass. No luck, so I was going to keep heading done the path. I jogged back towards the running trail, needing to cross the rock path (aka drainage ditch) again. I didn't do it so well the second time. I turned my left ankle and fell almost flat on my face. My ankle hurt, my hands hurt, and one of my knees hurt. I decided it would be better to walk back to my car than to finish the run. After walking for about 5 minutes, I realized that my knee and ankle felt fine, so I ran back to the car. I only ran about 4 today, but I didn't want to risk greater injury at this stage in the game. My only lasting damage are some cuts on my hand. I think the distraction from feeling slightly injured may have created some of my stupidity when I was leaving the park.
I'll start with the worst first. I almost hit a bicyclist on my way out of the park. I was entirely at fault. I just didn't see him until I almost pulled right into him. I know that is no excuse, and I'm so grateful that he started screaming at me as soon as he saw me pulling out. It probably saved his life. As a bicyclist, I'm horrified by this, mortified really. Is there really a hand gesture that's appropriate to say, "ummm...sorry I almost hit you, really glad you aren't dead?" or "screaming at me is totally appropriate, and I'm a moron." I don't think I found the proper response (well, other than slamming on my breaks and not hitting the guy). It still freaks me out; I just wasn't expecting a bicycle to come flying around that corner. Next time I will be.
Then there was the run itself. I started having to pee about a mile in. So every restroom I came to, I tried to go in to use. Only they were all locked. As I came up to the third restroom, I crossed a rock path and ran up the grass. No luck, so I was going to keep heading done the path. I jogged back towards the running trail, needing to cross the rock path (aka drainage ditch) again. I didn't do it so well the second time. I turned my left ankle and fell almost flat on my face. My ankle hurt, my hands hurt, and one of my knees hurt. I decided it would be better to walk back to my car than to finish the run. After walking for about 5 minutes, I realized that my knee and ankle felt fine, so I ran back to the car. I only ran about 4 today, but I didn't want to risk greater injury at this stage in the game. My only lasting damage are some cuts on my hand. I think the distraction from feeling slightly injured may have created some of my stupidity when I was leaving the park.
don't get it
Last week, my mileage was pretty low comparatively speaking. I think I barely hit 20 miles. This week will be even less. The taper before a race is kinda nice. So far I'm not getting that "I really should be running more" feeling, but we will see. The hunger isn't as bad as it was a week or so ago, and maybe that explains what I'm confused about.
Last week, I attempted to follow the weight watchers core plan. I didn't really count the stuff that I ate that wasn't on core, I allowed myself to eat low fat cheese and vanilla soy milk without counting it. I ate out with friends and ordered what I wanted. I ate bites of dessert (mmmmm...nutella crepe...mmmmm). I drank alcohol (had to celebrate passing my second bar - yep passed Illinois, I'm gonna be double barred). Essentially, what I'm saying is that I didn't really follow the plan at all. I didn't feel guilty about it and I didn't eat until stuffed, and I generally ate healthy foods (fruit, veggies, low fat cheese, meat and whole grains), but certainly shouldn't have lost any weight. But I did. I don't really know how this happened, and I'm convinced that its just a fluxuation and that tomorrow I'll be up a pound or so. I hope I'm wrong and that kinda sort of following core, when putting in some semi-serious millage (20 miles in a week is nothing to sneeze at), works. Still, I don't get it.
Weight: 157.6 (official ww weight)
Miles: 6 (well, that's what I'm running tonight to kinda sort of make up for the 8 I was supposed to run yesterday in combination with the 2 that are in my dayplanner).
Last week, I attempted to follow the weight watchers core plan. I didn't really count the stuff that I ate that wasn't on core, I allowed myself to eat low fat cheese and vanilla soy milk without counting it. I ate out with friends and ordered what I wanted. I ate bites of dessert (mmmmm...nutella crepe...mmmmm). I drank alcohol (had to celebrate passing my second bar - yep passed Illinois, I'm gonna be double barred). Essentially, what I'm saying is that I didn't really follow the plan at all. I didn't feel guilty about it and I didn't eat until stuffed, and I generally ate healthy foods (fruit, veggies, low fat cheese, meat and whole grains), but certainly shouldn't have lost any weight. But I did. I don't really know how this happened, and I'm convinced that its just a fluxuation and that tomorrow I'll be up a pound or so. I hope I'm wrong and that kinda sort of following core, when putting in some semi-serious millage (20 miles in a week is nothing to sneeze at), works. Still, I don't get it.
Weight: 157.6 (official ww weight)
Miles: 6 (well, that's what I'm running tonight to kinda sort of make up for the 8 I was supposed to run yesterday in combination with the 2 that are in my dayplanner).
Sunday, April 08, 2007
I don't wanna
I don't wanna run. I skipped my run today and yesterday, and I should feel bad about it, but I didn't want to run. I'm gonna do the park tomorrow after work, its a shorter run than I was supposed to do today, but I think its good enough to keep my cardio up.
Its funny cause on Friday they closed the office early so I could have gotten some good exercise in. Instead, I went by the bike shop and picked up my bike. I also hit the bank to get some cash for the weekend, and then went home for the night. I sat on my butt doing nothing, and I couldn't help but think that I should have stopped at the gym on my way home. It was cold and windy on Friday and I wasn't supposed to run, so it wasn't a great day to take out my bike. That's what I wanted to do, but I don't like wind. I hate wind. I really just felt like I had missed a great opportunity to be active on an afternoon that I felt like working out.
I feel lazy for skipping my run today. I slept in, went to an Easter dinner at 1, and then when I came home, I just watched an America's Next Top Model marathon on MTV. AHH - it felt like a weekend. I'm very excited about Cathy coming here next weekend, but I'm also very ready to not feel obligated to run.
Weight: 160
Miles: ug supposed to run 8, but ran none. I'm scheduled to run 2 tomorrow, but think I will do 5.75 instead. After that I'm sticking to the schedule this week.
Its funny cause on Friday they closed the office early so I could have gotten some good exercise in. Instead, I went by the bike shop and picked up my bike. I also hit the bank to get some cash for the weekend, and then went home for the night. I sat on my butt doing nothing, and I couldn't help but think that I should have stopped at the gym on my way home. It was cold and windy on Friday and I wasn't supposed to run, so it wasn't a great day to take out my bike. That's what I wanted to do, but I don't like wind. I hate wind. I really just felt like I had missed a great opportunity to be active on an afternoon that I felt like working out.
I feel lazy for skipping my run today. I slept in, went to an Easter dinner at 1, and then when I came home, I just watched an America's Next Top Model marathon on MTV. AHH - it felt like a weekend. I'm very excited about Cathy coming here next weekend, but I'm also very ready to not feel obligated to run.
Weight: 160
Miles: ug supposed to run 8, but ran none. I'm scheduled to run 2 tomorrow, but think I will do 5.75 instead. After that I'm sticking to the schedule this week.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
women's issues
Today I got the Gardasil vaccine. This makes me nervous. I got it because I know more than one woman who has already had abnormal pap results at the age of 26. I got it because I know at least a couple women who have had to have surgery out of fear of cervical cancer. I got it because I have not yet had an abnormal pap, and I would like to avoid getting a perfectly preventable cancer.
But, it still freaks me out. I think it freaks me out because it appears that women's health means so much less to our doctors and researchers than men's health. If HPV was a virus that cause cancer in men, that potentially could cause men to die, that cannot be stopped by using a condom, and was far too common in the general population, don't you think that the scientists and doctors would have come up with a test for it by now? A girl can be having the safest possible sex, force her boyfriend to get std tested, and even make him wear a condom, and she can get a disease that can kill her if left untreated. Why isn't there a test for men? Doesn't this seem wrong. Women aren't just giving HPV to each other, and women are only tested for HPV if their paps come back abnormal. We know what the strains are that cause cancer, why isn't there a test?
I also am freaked out about Gardasil because we don't know what the long term side effects are. The medical profession routinely recommended that menopausal women go on hormone replacement therapy, only to years later discover that it increased the risk of breast cancer. Almost every menopausal woman was put on these drugs without knowing the risk that she was subjecting herself to. No long term studies have been done on the risk associated with Gardasil, but I couldn't wait for studies - I have to get the vaccine now. In just a few months, I'll be 27 and the FDA has only approved it for women up to the age of 26. If I waited, I couldn't get it or certainly my heath insurance wouldn't cover it. Will we find out in 5 years that Gardisil also creates an increased risk of other, more deadly, cancers? It freaks me out because there's so much we just don't know yet about this vaccine.
But, I decided it was worth it for me. The known risks are minimal - some tenderness, maybe some pain in my arm. I have great insurance so I can get the vaccine at only the cost of three copays - $60. I am a sexually active woman in my twenties. If I don't already have HPV, I'll likely get it. I think something like 90% of all sexually active women have HPV (though most don't have the forms that cause cervical cancer - and don't quote me on that statistic, I made it up). Most women don't know how prevalent HPV is. They don't know that isn't tested for when you get standard std tests. They don't know that condoms are fully effective.
I was going to add something about abstinence only education here, but political views are a no no for me. Be glad to share my views if you know me, but can't do it here
But, it still freaks me out. I think it freaks me out because it appears that women's health means so much less to our doctors and researchers than men's health. If HPV was a virus that cause cancer in men, that potentially could cause men to die, that cannot be stopped by using a condom, and was far too common in the general population, don't you think that the scientists and doctors would have come up with a test for it by now? A girl can be having the safest possible sex, force her boyfriend to get std tested, and even make him wear a condom, and she can get a disease that can kill her if left untreated. Why isn't there a test for men? Doesn't this seem wrong. Women aren't just giving HPV to each other, and women are only tested for HPV if their paps come back abnormal. We know what the strains are that cause cancer, why isn't there a test?
I also am freaked out about Gardasil because we don't know what the long term side effects are. The medical profession routinely recommended that menopausal women go on hormone replacement therapy, only to years later discover that it increased the risk of breast cancer. Almost every menopausal woman was put on these drugs without knowing the risk that she was subjecting herself to. No long term studies have been done on the risk associated with Gardasil, but I couldn't wait for studies - I have to get the vaccine now. In just a few months, I'll be 27 and the FDA has only approved it for women up to the age of 26. If I waited, I couldn't get it or certainly my heath insurance wouldn't cover it. Will we find out in 5 years that Gardisil also creates an increased risk of other, more deadly, cancers? It freaks me out because there's so much we just don't know yet about this vaccine.
But, I decided it was worth it for me. The known risks are minimal - some tenderness, maybe some pain in my arm. I have great insurance so I can get the vaccine at only the cost of three copays - $60. I am a sexually active woman in my twenties. If I don't already have HPV, I'll likely get it. I think something like 90% of all sexually active women have HPV (though most don't have the forms that cause cervical cancer - and don't quote me on that statistic, I made it up). Most women don't know how prevalent HPV is. They don't know that isn't tested for when you get standard std tests. They don't know that condoms are fully effective.
I was going to add something about abstinence only education here, but political views are a no no for me. Be glad to share my views if you know me, but can't do it here
Thursday, April 05, 2007
If you could...
Not that long ago, I was out at a restaurant sitting around a big round table with a group of people I didn't know (well, I knew one other person at the table, but even him, not so much). The discussion turned into one of those almost never have I ever conversations, but clearly no one really wanted to get into that discussion unless there was a lot more alcohol available. So, the subject changed, and one guy asked - if you could change anything about yourself, physical or personality wise, what would you change?
Its a tough question. Not to sound cocky or whatever, but I generally like me. I wouldn't really change the person that I am, and I generally am alright with my looks. The biggie is probably my weight, but magically being 20 pounds thinner wouldn't help too much cause well, as long as I didn't change my eating habits, I would just gain it right back. So I thought for a bit and decided I would change my metabolism. I know I was blessed with a terrible metabolism. I'm from a family of overweight people who have been born to overweight people. In addition to genetics, I wasn't active or athletic as a child and that just sets you up for such a great metabolism later in life. So that's what I would change. It wouldn't solve the problem, but it would put me on a more level playing field.
So, what would you change if you could change anything about yourself?
Miles to run: 6 (skipped my run yesterday so I could take my bike in to the shop for its spring tune up)
Weight: 159
Its a tough question. Not to sound cocky or whatever, but I generally like me. I wouldn't really change the person that I am, and I generally am alright with my looks. The biggie is probably my weight, but magically being 20 pounds thinner wouldn't help too much cause well, as long as I didn't change my eating habits, I would just gain it right back. So I thought for a bit and decided I would change my metabolism. I know I was blessed with a terrible metabolism. I'm from a family of overweight people who have been born to overweight people. In addition to genetics, I wasn't active or athletic as a child and that just sets you up for such a great metabolism later in life. So that's what I would change. It wouldn't solve the problem, but it would put me on a more level playing field.
So, what would you change if you could change anything about yourself?
Miles to run: 6 (skipped my run yesterday so I could take my bike in to the shop for its spring tune up)
Weight: 159
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
degrading
Lately, there has been quite a discussion out there about how people like me are "degrading" the sport of running. It seems that "elite" runners are offended by people who run a five hour marathon. That what we do somehow makes running a marathon mean less. I've read this statement on a couple of blogs, and in fact, there was actually a long article on this published not too long ago on Slate http://www.slate.com/id/2149867
It offended me.
I have quite a lot to say about the idea that slow runners are degrading the marathon. In no other sport can I think of athletes complaining because there is increased public participation. I'm convinced that people who feel that way aren't truly elite runners. Does Tiger Woods think that the sport of golf is being degraded by my dad (who while a lovely person is not a lovely golfer) playing on the same course? Does anyone in the NBA think that pick up games on a street corner make their games mean less? Of course not. Slow marathoners don't hurt sub-two and a half hour marathoners at all. The achievement is just as great. Instead, the people who are hurt are the sort of fast marathoners. Just being able to run a marathon today isn't quite as impressive because more people know that they can do it. Does this mean that they shouldn't be able to do it?
Next, I get angry because those people assume that runners like me don't put in the training. No, we just don't have the natural ability to be as fast. I actually may spend MORE time on my training than a runner who could do the half marathon in just over an hour. My long runs take a LONG time. Running for me is a commitment. I can't pound out 8 miles in an hour, nope, I've got to plan on that taking almost two. Claiming that we have degraded running because we don't push ourselves as hard (which some people do) fails to acknowledge that people who aren't innately gifted will be slower no matter how hard they push themselves.
Finally, is there anything wrong with just being a recreational runner? I really can't think of any other sport where better athletes are offended by people doing something for their health or just for the love of the sport. What I do has no bearing on how you should feel about running. Instead of making the sport better by pushing people out, naysayers like that guy on slate are actually HURTING the sport. They make it less accessible to the public and make runners appear to be elitists who don't want to play nice or make new friends.
The sport of running has changed and is changing. Slowness doesn't make the sport worse. While I would agree that the number of elite runners might have declined as the masses were joining, this doesn't mean that the influx on non-elites caused the result. Correlation does not equal causation - didn't they learn this basic rule of statistics? Elite runners are recruited into other sports - basketball, football, field hockey, soccer - that a lot of people enjoy more than running just for the sake of running. I personally believe this might be more of a cause than additional public participation. People like team activities - it makes them feel like more than they are individually. And, running ultimately is an individual activity. Even in a race or while running with friends, your true competition is yourself.
Alright, enough of a rant for today.
Weight: 159 (officially ww weight - I'm trying something different this week - the Core plan. All this running makes me hungry all the time).
Miles: 2ish yesterday, none today.
It offended me.
I have quite a lot to say about the idea that slow runners are degrading the marathon. In no other sport can I think of athletes complaining because there is increased public participation. I'm convinced that people who feel that way aren't truly elite runners. Does Tiger Woods think that the sport of golf is being degraded by my dad (who while a lovely person is not a lovely golfer) playing on the same course? Does anyone in the NBA think that pick up games on a street corner make their games mean less? Of course not. Slow marathoners don't hurt sub-two and a half hour marathoners at all. The achievement is just as great. Instead, the people who are hurt are the sort of fast marathoners. Just being able to run a marathon today isn't quite as impressive because more people know that they can do it. Does this mean that they shouldn't be able to do it?
Next, I get angry because those people assume that runners like me don't put in the training. No, we just don't have the natural ability to be as fast. I actually may spend MORE time on my training than a runner who could do the half marathon in just over an hour. My long runs take a LONG time. Running for me is a commitment. I can't pound out 8 miles in an hour, nope, I've got to plan on that taking almost two. Claiming that we have degraded running because we don't push ourselves as hard (which some people do) fails to acknowledge that people who aren't innately gifted will be slower no matter how hard they push themselves.
Finally, is there anything wrong with just being a recreational runner? I really can't think of any other sport where better athletes are offended by people doing something for their health or just for the love of the sport. What I do has no bearing on how you should feel about running. Instead of making the sport better by pushing people out, naysayers like that guy on slate are actually HURTING the sport. They make it less accessible to the public and make runners appear to be elitists who don't want to play nice or make new friends.
The sport of running has changed and is changing. Slowness doesn't make the sport worse. While I would agree that the number of elite runners might have declined as the masses were joining, this doesn't mean that the influx on non-elites caused the result. Correlation does not equal causation - didn't they learn this basic rule of statistics? Elite runners are recruited into other sports - basketball, football, field hockey, soccer - that a lot of people enjoy more than running just for the sake of running. I personally believe this might be more of a cause than additional public participation. People like team activities - it makes them feel like more than they are individually. And, running ultimately is an individual activity. Even in a race or while running with friends, your true competition is yourself.
Alright, enough of a rant for today.
Weight: 159 (officially ww weight - I'm trying something different this week - the Core plan. All this running makes me hungry all the time).
Miles: 2ish yesterday, none today.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
side effects
Its seems that I have inspired a number of my friends to begin running based upon my blog posts here. While my posts aren't always positive (ummm...see the last week) regarding my running experience, they generally point out the good aspects or involve minor complaining. I just thought I would give you all a realistic idea of what bad side effects I've had from running.
First, there are the feet issues. I've been lucky so far with my feet. I haven't lost a toenail (happens all the time if your shoes don't fit right - one of the reasons why it is seriously worth it to go to a running store to buy your first pair of running shoes). I also haven't had bad blister issues. For a while last year, I had developed a blister on the inside of my right pinky toe that wouldn't go away - from rubbing against the next toe. No one could explain why I was getting it. It healed up while I wasn't running last summer and miraculously hasn't made a reappearance this training season. Even so, that blister wasn't a big deal cause it didn't hurt. Just looked ugly. The main reason why I think I have been so lucky with blisters, even on my long runs, is that I wear good socks. Repeat after me..."Cotton is Rotten!" Cotton socks cause blisters and make your feet stink (I think if I wore cotton socks my next foot issue would be even worse). I love my Wright Socks - they are nice and thin and prevent blisters. Worth every penny.
But, both last year and this year I have developed a WEIRD foot reaction to running - pitted keratolysis. Its a wonderful bacterial infection that causes pits in the bottom of your feet. It doesn't hurt and its not contagious. But, it can cause VERY stinky feet. Amazingly my feet have actually been less stinky lately than they were when I didn't have this problem. I discovered I had this for the first time last year while I was getting a pedicure and pedicurist freaked out. Apparently, soaking your feet makes the pits get bigger and more noticeable. Before that, I had no idea, it really didn't hurt and my feet honestly weren't that stinky. I knew it didn't look like athlete's foot, so I went to the health center and got diagnosed. The treatment is easy: wash your feet with anti-bacteria soap at least 2 times a day and apply an antibiotic cream. This time, when I went to the dermatologist, I talked to him because the treatment wasn't working (I suspect the extra miles are just creating a happy breeding ground for the bacteria). I got myself prescribed some expensive gel antibiotic gel (yay health insurance!). So far this is probably my worst side effect from running. The problem isn't really the infection - nope, its the fact that I'm too embarrassed to get a pedicure until it clears up.
Other side effects are usually only on the days I do a long run (6+ miles) - knee and hip pain. My Ace reusable cold compress is one of my favorite things these days. My knees don't hurt while running, but maybe an hour to two hours later - OUCH! I told you that I walk like a drunk old person after a long run, and this is why.
So there's your warning. Running can hurt and make you mortified to go to a pedicurist, but its worth it.
Miles: 11.5 (2 hours 5 minutes - with a couple stops :-D)
Weight: 160 (boo hiss)
First, there are the feet issues. I've been lucky so far with my feet. I haven't lost a toenail (happens all the time if your shoes don't fit right - one of the reasons why it is seriously worth it to go to a running store to buy your first pair of running shoes). I also haven't had bad blister issues. For a while last year, I had developed a blister on the inside of my right pinky toe that wouldn't go away - from rubbing against the next toe. No one could explain why I was getting it. It healed up while I wasn't running last summer and miraculously hasn't made a reappearance this training season. Even so, that blister wasn't a big deal cause it didn't hurt. Just looked ugly. The main reason why I think I have been so lucky with blisters, even on my long runs, is that I wear good socks. Repeat after me..."Cotton is Rotten!" Cotton socks cause blisters and make your feet stink (I think if I wore cotton socks my next foot issue would be even worse). I love my Wright Socks - they are nice and thin and prevent blisters. Worth every penny.
But, both last year and this year I have developed a WEIRD foot reaction to running - pitted keratolysis. Its a wonderful bacterial infection that causes pits in the bottom of your feet. It doesn't hurt and its not contagious. But, it can cause VERY stinky feet. Amazingly my feet have actually been less stinky lately than they were when I didn't have this problem. I discovered I had this for the first time last year while I was getting a pedicure and pedicurist freaked out. Apparently, soaking your feet makes the pits get bigger and more noticeable. Before that, I had no idea, it really didn't hurt and my feet honestly weren't that stinky. I knew it didn't look like athlete's foot, so I went to the health center and got diagnosed. The treatment is easy: wash your feet with anti-bacteria soap at least 2 times a day and apply an antibiotic cream. This time, when I went to the dermatologist, I talked to him because the treatment wasn't working (I suspect the extra miles are just creating a happy breeding ground for the bacteria). I got myself prescribed some expensive gel antibiotic gel (yay health insurance!). So far this is probably my worst side effect from running. The problem isn't really the infection - nope, its the fact that I'm too embarrassed to get a pedicure until it clears up.
Other side effects are usually only on the days I do a long run (6+ miles) - knee and hip pain. My Ace reusable cold compress is one of my favorite things these days. My knees don't hurt while running, but maybe an hour to two hours later - OUCH! I told you that I walk like a drunk old person after a long run, and this is why.
So there's your warning. Running can hurt and make you mortified to go to a pedicurist, but its worth it.
Miles: 11.5 (2 hours 5 minutes - with a couple stops :-D)
Weight: 160 (boo hiss)
Friday, March 30, 2007
and fashion magazines are supposed to make us feel bad about ourselves
Last night on a whim, I purchased a Real Simple magazine. My thought process at the grocery store checkout was something like, eh, that magazine is supposed to be good and hey, I'm moving into my own place soon so ideas on how to have a real simple life would be good.
I'm now convinced that magazine is designed solely for the purpose of making average people feel bad about themselves. Its sort of like Martha Stewart, only younger and hipper, and without the scandal. Some of the oh so wonderful tips that I'll be sure to add to my life include: making your own clock out of materials that cost over $100 (the clock uses chalkboard paint and you get to write in the numbers with chalk) and suggesting that you not purchase wipes or cleaning solution for your stainless steel appliances, but instead make your own cleaning solution. Ummm...yeah...honestly, who has time for this shit? I was actually extremely happy with myself when I bought some wipes to keep in my bathroom so I could clean up my makeup mess every day. Wipes are our friends...its not like the were suggesting making your own cleaner to be environmentally friendly, I think it was supposed to save you time and money. Ummm...no, it just means that my kitchen would look gross all the time.
Really, perhaps I'm just too lazy. Maybe people really do use clocks as bookends or make broaches into magnets to make their fridges look prettier or spend $800 on a trench coat. Its good to know that people care about this kind of stuff (though I suspect that the largest market for this crazy household thing is not yuppy housewives, but 30 year old gay men instead). Ultimately though, I think most people buy the magazine to feel like they are part of the aestetic, part of the crowd of "simple" living folks.
I really shouldn't judge this crowd. I'm not much of simple liver myself. I like my modern conveniences, and hell, I bought a magazine called Real Simple thinking that it would help me be organized and clean and such in my new apartment with KK. I should have known that's not really how things work. Next time, I'll save myself the trouble and just buy a People instead ;-) at least then I'll only feel fat, not fat and lazy...
Weight: 160 (fuuuuuck!!)
Miles: 3 (31:04)
I'm now convinced that magazine is designed solely for the purpose of making average people feel bad about themselves. Its sort of like Martha Stewart, only younger and hipper, and without the scandal. Some of the oh so wonderful tips that I'll be sure to add to my life include: making your own clock out of materials that cost over $100 (the clock uses chalkboard paint and you get to write in the numbers with chalk) and suggesting that you not purchase wipes or cleaning solution for your stainless steel appliances, but instead make your own cleaning solution. Ummm...yeah...honestly, who has time for this shit? I was actually extremely happy with myself when I bought some wipes to keep in my bathroom so I could clean up my makeup mess every day. Wipes are our friends...its not like the were suggesting making your own cleaner to be environmentally friendly, I think it was supposed to save you time and money. Ummm...no, it just means that my kitchen would look gross all the time.
Really, perhaps I'm just too lazy. Maybe people really do use clocks as bookends or make broaches into magnets to make their fridges look prettier or spend $800 on a trench coat. Its good to know that people care about this kind of stuff (though I suspect that the largest market for this crazy household thing is not yuppy housewives, but 30 year old gay men instead). Ultimately though, I think most people buy the magazine to feel like they are part of the aestetic, part of the crowd of "simple" living folks.
I really shouldn't judge this crowd. I'm not much of simple liver myself. I like my modern conveniences, and hell, I bought a magazine called Real Simple thinking that it would help me be organized and clean and such in my new apartment with KK. I should have known that's not really how things work. Next time, I'll save myself the trouble and just buy a People instead ;-) at least then I'll only feel fat, not fat and lazy...
Weight: 160 (fuuuuuck!!)
Miles: 3 (31:04)
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
sigh - no running today
To answer your question, Elisabeth - yes, I do like running sometimes. Sometimes I even love it. I feel better after I do it and I generally feel better about myself knowing that I am a runner. That being said, some days, I hate it, and I only run because the runs are written in my day planner.
Speaking of written in my day planner, I am supposed to run 5 miles tonight, but its not gonna happen. I had a doctors appointment at 11:15 this morning with a dermatologist. My OBGYN had freaked me out about one mole, plus I've got some feet issues from running that needed a prescription. I didn't think that the dermatologist would do anything today, though cause the mole my new OBGYN was freaked out about was a mole that I have had at least since I was 13 years old. Generally, if they have been around that long (even if they are big), you don't have much to worry about. I did have another mole that has been worrying me for some time, but I kept being assured by docs (like the above OBGYN) that it wasn't big enough to worry about. So I assumed the derm would take a look at the moles, give me a prescription for the feet and send me on my way. No such luck.
Right now my shoulder feels like I slept on it badly because I had two moles removed. My whole shoulder/neck area hurts - guess the local he gave me didn't last all afternoon. The derm ended up taking off two moles and is sending them off to be biopsied. One on the front of my shoulder (the one that concerned me but not my other doc) and a mole on my back that I didn't even know was there. The derm assured me that I really shouldn't worry and that likely everything will come out hunky dory. I'm not at all stressed about the mole biopsy process - other than the fact that I once had a super super bad burn on my shoulders - but I think running is out for tonight. My shoulder hurts too much. Hopefully I can run these five tomorrow night instead.
Speaking of written in my day planner, I am supposed to run 5 miles tonight, but its not gonna happen. I had a doctors appointment at 11:15 this morning with a dermatologist. My OBGYN had freaked me out about one mole, plus I've got some feet issues from running that needed a prescription. I didn't think that the dermatologist would do anything today, though cause the mole my new OBGYN was freaked out about was a mole that I have had at least since I was 13 years old. Generally, if they have been around that long (even if they are big), you don't have much to worry about. I did have another mole that has been worrying me for some time, but I kept being assured by docs (like the above OBGYN) that it wasn't big enough to worry about. So I assumed the derm would take a look at the moles, give me a prescription for the feet and send me on my way. No such luck.
Right now my shoulder feels like I slept on it badly because I had two moles removed. My whole shoulder/neck area hurts - guess the local he gave me didn't last all afternoon. The derm ended up taking off two moles and is sending them off to be biopsied. One on the front of my shoulder (the one that concerned me but not my other doc) and a mole on my back that I didn't even know was there. The derm assured me that I really shouldn't worry and that likely everything will come out hunky dory. I'm not at all stressed about the mole biopsy process - other than the fact that I once had a super super bad burn on my shoulders - but I think running is out for tonight. My shoulder hurts too much. Hopefully I can run these five tomorrow night instead.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
spring in my step
So, I figured out what's wrong with the half marathon training - lack of joy in my running at about mile 6. Thinking back to Sunday, I was actually having fun through at the very least, mile 5. I was dancing along as I ran, enjoying the random music that came through my ipod. I was so enthusiastic in my joy that I got smiles and laughs from bikers I passed on the trail. It was fun; I didn't mind the heat or the slight soreness in my butt or the tiny rocks in my shoes. And then, suddenly it wasn't fun anymore. My legs and butt hurt; I was hot; I was thirsty. I wasn't playing anymore, instead, I was training.
I realized this last night when I found myself singing along with Simon and Garfunkel about twenty minutes into my run. I was alone in a gym, on a treadmill, and I was having more fun than I did in those painful miles outside on a perfect Sunday afternoon. I like running 3 miles; I even like running 6 miles, but much more than that is real work and so far I haven't developed a real love for it. Its not the time either - I can spend four hours biking with minor breaks for food and still love every minute of it. No, its the pain. Running 10 miles hurts. Maybe someday, if I keep running long training runs it won't hurt so much, but I'm not sure I want to get past that point. I'm not sure I'm willing to put in that kind of time.
I want to get back to joyful running, to enjoying the movement, to have the freedom to run three miles and stop or to push on to six, to have the freedom to skip a Sunday run and take my bike out instead, to not be afraid that going rock climbing is going to leave me with too much muscle pain to run. I'm ready to run for the love of running again instead of because I have to.
Weight: 157.5
Miles: 0 for today - might hit the rock climbing gym tonight.
I realized this last night when I found myself singing along with Simon and Garfunkel about twenty minutes into my run. I was alone in a gym, on a treadmill, and I was having more fun than I did in those painful miles outside on a perfect Sunday afternoon. I like running 3 miles; I even like running 6 miles, but much more than that is real work and so far I haven't developed a real love for it. Its not the time either - I can spend four hours biking with minor breaks for food and still love every minute of it. No, its the pain. Running 10 miles hurts. Maybe someday, if I keep running long training runs it won't hurt so much, but I'm not sure I want to get past that point. I'm not sure I'm willing to put in that kind of time.
I want to get back to joyful running, to enjoying the movement, to have the freedom to run three miles and stop or to push on to six, to have the freedom to skip a Sunday run and take my bike out instead, to not be afraid that going rock climbing is going to leave me with too much muscle pain to run. I'm ready to run for the love of running again instead of because I have to.
Weight: 157.5
Miles: 0 for today - might hit the rock climbing gym tonight.
Monday, March 26, 2007
lesson learned
(1) Body glide is my friend. I bought body glide last year because my big clunky ipod was causing chafing when I was running. Since I replaced the big clunky ipod, I hadn't needed the body glide anymore. Now, I need it again. Even wearing capri running tights, I still managed to get chafed in my inner thighs and lower butt. Its not cute, but its the truth. Next time I go for a long run, I will apply body glide ahead of time (for those who don't know, body glide is a ant-friction thing that comes in a container that looks like deoderant - people apply it to prevent blisters on the feet and chafing everywhere else - I've heard that its really loved by people in the military who have feet issues).
(2) I need water. I thought I was gonna die before I got to the restaurant where I bought water at mile 7 yesterday. There were no water fountains and I wasn't carrying any water on my body. At one point the stream/drainage ditch running next to the Katy trail actually looked inviting. On my way back, I was heartbroken by a coke vending machine that didn't work - I still had 2 miles to get back to my car and I had been dreaming about that coke since about miles 10.
(3) Vanilla bean Gu is more gross than Vanilla Powergels. I won't go so far as to say that Vanilla Powergels are better because they are both gross, but Gu is worse.
(4) I don't like running on a long flat trail. Its boring; I get rocks in my shoes (and that really sucks), and its hot - very little shade.
(5) I don't like running in the heat. Yesterday was probably about 85 degrees in St. Louis. I already knew I didn't like running in the heat, its why I didn't run most of last summer. But, having it reconfirmed was a good thing. I'd much rather run in 19 degree temps than 90 degree ones. I know this is weird, but its true. When its hot out there are so many things I'd rather be doing than running, whereas when its cold, running is sort of my only option (its not like we get a lot of snow here).
(6) I'm really ready for this half marathon to be over. In fact, if Cathy weren't signed up to do it with me, I might back out at this point. I miss having my weekends free and being able to enjoy a gorgeous afternoon by peddeling away on my bike. I miss my bike. I hate having to devote almost my entire Sunday to running. I don't want to get up early, but then I have to plan everything else around my long run for the day and after I'm finished, I'm kind of useless. Next weekend I'm going to try to do my long run early in the morning on either Saturday or Sunday with a friend. Maybe then I could have some of my Sunday back.
Weight: 157.5 (I'm joining ww at work today, don't know if I will be able to do it until the half is over, but I'm going to try)
Miles: 2 (to run)
(2) I need water. I thought I was gonna die before I got to the restaurant where I bought water at mile 7 yesterday. There were no water fountains and I wasn't carrying any water on my body. At one point the stream/drainage ditch running next to the Katy trail actually looked inviting. On my way back, I was heartbroken by a coke vending machine that didn't work - I still had 2 miles to get back to my car and I had been dreaming about that coke since about miles 10.
(3) Vanilla bean Gu is more gross than Vanilla Powergels. I won't go so far as to say that Vanilla Powergels are better because they are both gross, but Gu is worse.
(4) I don't like running on a long flat trail. Its boring; I get rocks in my shoes (and that really sucks), and its hot - very little shade.
(5) I don't like running in the heat. Yesterday was probably about 85 degrees in St. Louis. I already knew I didn't like running in the heat, its why I didn't run most of last summer. But, having it reconfirmed was a good thing. I'd much rather run in 19 degree temps than 90 degree ones. I know this is weird, but its true. When its hot out there are so many things I'd rather be doing than running, whereas when its cold, running is sort of my only option (its not like we get a lot of snow here).
(6) I'm really ready for this half marathon to be over. In fact, if Cathy weren't signed up to do it with me, I might back out at this point. I miss having my weekends free and being able to enjoy a gorgeous afternoon by peddeling away on my bike. I miss my bike. I hate having to devote almost my entire Sunday to running. I don't want to get up early, but then I have to plan everything else around my long run for the day and after I'm finished, I'm kind of useless. Next weekend I'm going to try to do my long run early in the morning on either Saturday or Sunday with a friend. Maybe then I could have some of my Sunday back.
Weight: 157.5 (I'm joining ww at work today, don't know if I will be able to do it until the half is over, but I'm going to try)
Miles: 2 (to run)
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Announcements! Announcements!
This was a big weekend for me:
- I signed a lease on a new apartment! It is beautiful and has everything I have wanted, everything. And I'm going to have a roommate - my friend kk, who I have known since preschool. I'm paying probably more than I should be for a two bedroom apartment that I will share with a roommate, but I love everything about it. It's on the street I've been longing to live on for years, within walking distance of a wine bar, a nice restaurant with a nice bar, and my favorite coffee shop. It has central air, hardwood floors in the main living areas, my bedroom has a separate office, I have my own bathroom, and the kitchen...ahhh the kitchen. The kitchen is beautiful - hardwood floors, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, gas stove, built in microwave, full size side by side fridge, and a closet with a stackable full size washer and dryer. I can't wait for June 1! She and I have already talked about some of the rules we need (well, that she needs for me - dishes must be in the dishwasher within 24 hours of being used).
- I traveled 14 miles on foot today. I can't say that I ran it because I walked the last 5 miles or so because I got sick at mile seven (not caused by the running...)
- When rock climbing again last Thursday. I discovered that Thursdays are ladies night at the rock climbing gym. I did so much better this time on the wall. I made it to the top more than once and really felt great about myself.
Anyway, I'm gross from the run.
Miles: 14!!!!!
Weight: 159
- I signed a lease on a new apartment! It is beautiful and has everything I have wanted, everything. And I'm going to have a roommate - my friend kk, who I have known since preschool. I'm paying probably more than I should be for a two bedroom apartment that I will share with a roommate, but I love everything about it. It's on the street I've been longing to live on for years, within walking distance of a wine bar, a nice restaurant with a nice bar, and my favorite coffee shop. It has central air, hardwood floors in the main living areas, my bedroom has a separate office, I have my own bathroom, and the kitchen...ahhh the kitchen. The kitchen is beautiful - hardwood floors, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, gas stove, built in microwave, full size side by side fridge, and a closet with a stackable full size washer and dryer. I can't wait for June 1! She and I have already talked about some of the rules we need (well, that she needs for me - dishes must be in the dishwasher within 24 hours of being used).
- I traveled 14 miles on foot today. I can't say that I ran it because I walked the last 5 miles or so because I got sick at mile seven (not caused by the running...)
- When rock climbing again last Thursday. I discovered that Thursdays are ladies night at the rock climbing gym. I did so much better this time on the wall. I made it to the top more than once and really felt great about myself.
Anyway, I'm gross from the run.
Miles: 14!!!!!
Weight: 159
Thursday, March 22, 2007
proud of my hometown team...
http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/6596608?MSNHPHMA
Ah, what a way to show the world how classy the team is after winning to world series last October.
Ah, what a way to show the world how classy the team is after winning to world series last October.
Some days you've got it, some days you don't
Yesterday, I just didn't have it. I knew by the time I hit the first hill that my run yesterday was not going to be fun. My calfs tightened up at the first sign of an incline, and when I missed the first stop light, both of my legs turned to lead while I waited for the crosswalk. I knew that if I had been running on the treadmill, I would have stopped after two miles and called it a day. But, I wasn't running on the treadmill and my training schedule called for a five mile run - I was running the park and once I started, I wasn't going to stop until I got all the way back around to my car. As I hit that first hill, I knew I didn't have it that day, but then I remembered back when I really didn't have it.
I don't think I have written about when I first started running. Back then I couldn't have run a mile without walking. I had attempted a couple of times before to start running, but I didn't know what I was doing so just went out and ran. Just for your information - that doesn't work. Anyway, the first time I attempted to start running was in college, when I thought that it couldn't be too hard to run the mile length of DoG street and back to my dorm. Of course, it was too hard, and the tourists laughing and pointing like I was part of the colonial display (although in retrospect, I suspect I was more self-conscience than anything and that most of the tourists didn't even notice me) made me never want to try that again, especially after I had to start walking before I had even gotten to Bruton Parish or something.
Anyway, the second time I attempted to start running was during my second year of law school. I actually did fine that time, maybe even ran a mile before I headed home. Then disaster struck - in the form of gallstones. I went into the hospital that night and subsequently didn't work out for the next six months. There was no connection between the gallstones and exercise, but my tummy hurt too much for the next week to work out and for me, once I fall off the wagon, its REALLY hard to get back on.
In August before my third year of law school, I rejoined weight watchers with one of my friends and joined my local gym. I started doing between 30 and 60 minutes a day on the elliptical or the bike and was feeling pretty good. Then I started my internship and met somebody who has changed my life. She told me that if I could do the elliptical for 60 minutes then I could run. She insisted that when she started running, she couldn't run a mile either, and she gave me a wonderful book, The Complete Book of Running for Women. For a beginning female runner, that book has everything you need to know. The run/walk schedule is perfect for setting you up for your first 5k (if you want to start running I'd be glad to get you a copy), and it has training guides for everything from a 5k to a marathon. It discusses nutrition, injuries, shoes, clothes, everything. I loved the book so much that I bought myself a copy, loaned it to a friend and she bought a copy.
I learned to run on a treadmill that fall. That's partially why its sooo surprising how much I hate the treadmill now, but once I experienced running outside, I didn't want to go back. At first I was walking considerable more than I was running. Even still, I was completely out of breath after five minutes of running, certain that I couldn't do this. Slowly (I repeated some weeks), I built up my ability to run. I played with the pace (realized that I couldn't do 6 mph on the treadmill, but that 5 was much better). The first time I ran for 30 minutes straight I felt as though I had conquered the world. I was slow - perfectly content to jog away at 5 mph, but there was something so empowering about it. When I finished my first 5k, it was the best feeling in the world. I had accomplished something I had never thought possible, and I wasn't even close to finishing last. So now, on the days when "I just don't have it" I have to remember there were days when I really didn't have it, when the thought of running the 5.6 miles of the park seemed impossible. Remembering that makes the painfully slow miles of yesterday just not seem so bad.
Miles: 5.6 (yesterday - very slow, probably took 1 hour 10 minutes)
Weight: 158.5 (um, yeah, 2 pounds in 2 days - gotta love water weight)
I don't think I have written about when I first started running. Back then I couldn't have run a mile without walking. I had attempted a couple of times before to start running, but I didn't know what I was doing so just went out and ran. Just for your information - that doesn't work. Anyway, the first time I attempted to start running was in college, when I thought that it couldn't be too hard to run the mile length of DoG street and back to my dorm. Of course, it was too hard, and the tourists laughing and pointing like I was part of the colonial display (although in retrospect, I suspect I was more self-conscience than anything and that most of the tourists didn't even notice me) made me never want to try that again, especially after I had to start walking before I had even gotten to Bruton Parish or something.
Anyway, the second time I attempted to start running was during my second year of law school. I actually did fine that time, maybe even ran a mile before I headed home. Then disaster struck - in the form of gallstones. I went into the hospital that night and subsequently didn't work out for the next six months. There was no connection between the gallstones and exercise, but my tummy hurt too much for the next week to work out and for me, once I fall off the wagon, its REALLY hard to get back on.
In August before my third year of law school, I rejoined weight watchers with one of my friends and joined my local gym. I started doing between 30 and 60 minutes a day on the elliptical or the bike and was feeling pretty good. Then I started my internship and met somebody who has changed my life. She told me that if I could do the elliptical for 60 minutes then I could run. She insisted that when she started running, she couldn't run a mile either, and she gave me a wonderful book, The Complete Book of Running for Women. For a beginning female runner, that book has everything you need to know. The run/walk schedule is perfect for setting you up for your first 5k (if you want to start running I'd be glad to get you a copy), and it has training guides for everything from a 5k to a marathon. It discusses nutrition, injuries, shoes, clothes, everything. I loved the book so much that I bought myself a copy, loaned it to a friend and she bought a copy.
I learned to run on a treadmill that fall. That's partially why its sooo surprising how much I hate the treadmill now, but once I experienced running outside, I didn't want to go back. At first I was walking considerable more than I was running. Even still, I was completely out of breath after five minutes of running, certain that I couldn't do this. Slowly (I repeated some weeks), I built up my ability to run. I played with the pace (realized that I couldn't do 6 mph on the treadmill, but that 5 was much better). The first time I ran for 30 minutes straight I felt as though I had conquered the world. I was slow - perfectly content to jog away at 5 mph, but there was something so empowering about it. When I finished my first 5k, it was the best feeling in the world. I had accomplished something I had never thought possible, and I wasn't even close to finishing last. So now, on the days when "I just don't have it" I have to remember there were days when I really didn't have it, when the thought of running the 5.6 miles of the park seemed impossible. Remembering that makes the painfully slow miles of yesterday just not seem so bad.
Miles: 5.6 (yesterday - very slow, probably took 1 hour 10 minutes)
Weight: 158.5 (um, yeah, 2 pounds in 2 days - gotta love water weight)
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
outwitted by a 3 year old (well, he's almost three)
Last weekend, I spent some quality time with the family. I flew up to Chicago with my grandmother to spend a couple nights with my brother, my sister-in-law, and the two munchkins. One of the munchkins cannot yet walk, talk, or even crawl so really she's just a cute bucket of poop. Always great to see how much she has changed since the last time I saw her, and she is especially smiley for a baby, but she's not really a person yet. She's still definitely more of a proto-person.
The same cannot be said for my nephew. He will be turning 3 in about a month (the same day as the half-marathon, actually), and he is definitely a little person. My nephew, wjr, has strong opinions, and some (including his preschool teacher), might call him a little bossy. Apparently, he has decided that I am not an adult, but instead am another child that he can tease and tell what to do. I often find myself "in jail" for non-existent offenses that include: banging on the wall or talking too loud (well, this may not be non-existent). Sunday morning he was especially out to get me. His mom was still sleeping in, and wjr disappeared for a little while. I found him up in his room. When I entered, I was told that I had to stay in there, and he proceeded to close the door. I figured we were back playing one of our games, so I let myself be closed off in his room...and then later "made my escape." At this point it was too late, though. wjr had woken up his mom cause he had decided that she had slept enough. My brother couldn't help but tease me that I had been outsmarted by a 2 year old. Ahhh...yes.
Then at breakfast, I was taunted. We went out to brunch, and my brother ordered wjr a kids order of pancakes. My brother cut them up for him and applied a modest amount of syrup. wjr was not pleased with the modest amount of syrup and requested more. This was not an unreasonable request so my brother passed the syrup to my grandmother to put on his pancakes. Unfortunately, my grandmother didn't think things through and handed the nearly full thing of syrup to the 3 year old. Not a good idea. I immediately attempted to take it away (as my brother was requesting), but had wjr put it in his far away hand holding it out as far away from himself (and me) as possible. I couldn't reach it...and then, this is where the taunting comes in...wjr just turned around and grinned. That kid KNEW he had me beat. In the end I persevered and got the syrup away from him, but not before getting extremely frustrated and covered in syrup. Lesson learned...when at brunch with a 3 year old, make one of his parents sit next to him...and don't give grandma the syrup.
Weight: 156.5
Miles: 3 (32:00 yesterday) none today
The same cannot be said for my nephew. He will be turning 3 in about a month (the same day as the half-marathon, actually), and he is definitely a little person. My nephew, wjr, has strong opinions, and some (including his preschool teacher), might call him a little bossy. Apparently, he has decided that I am not an adult, but instead am another child that he can tease and tell what to do. I often find myself "in jail" for non-existent offenses that include: banging on the wall or talking too loud (well, this may not be non-existent). Sunday morning he was especially out to get me. His mom was still sleeping in, and wjr disappeared for a little while. I found him up in his room. When I entered, I was told that I had to stay in there, and he proceeded to close the door. I figured we were back playing one of our games, so I let myself be closed off in his room...and then later "made my escape." At this point it was too late, though. wjr had woken up his mom cause he had decided that she had slept enough. My brother couldn't help but tease me that I had been outsmarted by a 2 year old. Ahhh...yes.
Then at breakfast, I was taunted. We went out to brunch, and my brother ordered wjr a kids order of pancakes. My brother cut them up for him and applied a modest amount of syrup. wjr was not pleased with the modest amount of syrup and requested more. This was not an unreasonable request so my brother passed the syrup to my grandmother to put on his pancakes. Unfortunately, my grandmother didn't think things through and handed the nearly full thing of syrup to the 3 year old. Not a good idea. I immediately attempted to take it away (as my brother was requesting), but had wjr put it in his far away hand holding it out as far away from himself (and me) as possible. I couldn't reach it...and then, this is where the taunting comes in...wjr just turned around and grinned. That kid KNEW he had me beat. In the end I persevered and got the syrup away from him, but not before getting extremely frustrated and covered in syrup. Lesson learned...when at brunch with a 3 year old, make one of his parents sit next to him...and don't give grandma the syrup.
Weight: 156.5
Miles: 3 (32:00 yesterday) none today
Friday, March 16, 2007
apartment hunting
So for the last couple of weeks I've been searching for the perfect apartment. I've been to apartment with rents raging from $500 to $1000. I've got pretty strict requirements these days. I have to have a dishwasher and central air. Hardwood floors, a gas stove and either a free washer/dryer or hookups are almost also a must. Oh, and closet space. I must have enough space for my clothes and other essentials. And - I'd prefer not topay more than about $700 for this place, and it needs to be in a neighborhood where I feel safe coming home at night. I don't want to fear car theft or muggings. So, you see I'm picky.
I'm also realizing how lucky I am to live in a relatively inexpensive city. The last apartment I looked at was about 700 square feet and had all of my requirements (except the closet space - that's why I didn't jump on that baby). The apartment rents for $675 so its in my price range. This seems pricey to me, but when I was talking about it with train boy he was astounded. Given the rents in LA, that apartment seems like such a great deal.
I'm still unsure though. The lack of closet space was a minor issue, and the kitchen is actually not all that attractive. I really want to love my next apartment, and this place just didn't seem like it was all that. I'm looking at another one next week - its slightly more pricey - $735, but actually has a washer/dryer in unit. Sigh...I'm sure I'll find something that I love.
I'm also realizing how lucky I am to live in a relatively inexpensive city. The last apartment I looked at was about 700 square feet and had all of my requirements (except the closet space - that's why I didn't jump on that baby). The apartment rents for $675 so its in my price range. This seems pricey to me, but when I was talking about it with train boy he was astounded. Given the rents in LA, that apartment seems like such a great deal.
I'm still unsure though. The lack of closet space was a minor issue, and the kitchen is actually not all that attractive. I really want to love my next apartment, and this place just didn't seem like it was all that. I'm looking at another one next week - its slightly more pricey - $735, but actually has a washer/dryer in unit. Sigh...I'm sure I'll find something that I love.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Let's go out tonight...
So, I know why I haven't managed to save all that much money while I have been living in my parents house this winter. First, I'm not totally without expenses. I pay my parents about $300 a month for utilities and cable and stuff. I also have a very substantial student loan payment to make each month, and I did have to pay for all ofmy Illinois bar expenses out of my pocket. Finally, I went a bit crazy at Christmas - both in buying for myself and buying for other people.
The thing is, I've really got enough money even with all of that that I should be able to save plenty each month. I've paid off much of my credit card debt, and I have some money in the bank (enough for a rent deposit and first month's rent on my future apartment), but I haven't really saved anything substantial.
I think I know why. I spend far too much money on food. Now, part of that is that I spend a lot at the grocery store each week. I buy plenty of fresh produce and have no problem spending money on more expensive things (think red peppers and pacific rose apples) in order to get better taste. Still, that's not where the majority of my food money is going. That is going to dining out with one of my friends. I almost never eat dinner at home, but instead meet people out most nights of the week. I eat at Maggianos or PF Chang's or local independent restaurants, and it all adds up. Now, I am unwilling to give up the hanging out with my friends time, but I have to curb this crazy spending. Those wait staff members should not be getting such a big chunk of my paycheck. The problem is, I live so soo soooo far away from everyone that I can't just have people over to dinner. I really do think that moving might save me money (as crazy as that seems right now).
Also, this dining out business is playing havoc with my diet. I think it might be one of the biggest reasons I'm having trouble with the weight loss. So, I need to eat at home more or at least eat at restaurants less.
Oh, and I saw train boy again last night - sucks that he is likely leaving my fair city within the month and never coming back.
Weight: unknown
Miles: attempted to run 4 last night, had to stop due to knee pain (OH NO!) after mile 2, but did another mile or so on the elliptical with no pain.
The thing is, I've really got enough money even with all of that that I should be able to save plenty each month. I've paid off much of my credit card debt, and I have some money in the bank (enough for a rent deposit and first month's rent on my future apartment), but I haven't really saved anything substantial.
I think I know why. I spend far too much money on food. Now, part of that is that I spend a lot at the grocery store each week. I buy plenty of fresh produce and have no problem spending money on more expensive things (think red peppers and pacific rose apples) in order to get better taste. Still, that's not where the majority of my food money is going. That is going to dining out with one of my friends. I almost never eat dinner at home, but instead meet people out most nights of the week. I eat at Maggianos or PF Chang's or local independent restaurants, and it all adds up. Now, I am unwilling to give up the hanging out with my friends time, but I have to curb this crazy spending. Those wait staff members should not be getting such a big chunk of my paycheck. The problem is, I live so soo soooo far away from everyone that I can't just have people over to dinner. I really do think that moving might save me money (as crazy as that seems right now).
Also, this dining out business is playing havoc with my diet. I think it might be one of the biggest reasons I'm having trouble with the weight loss. So, I need to eat at home more or at least eat at restaurants less.
Oh, and I saw train boy again last night - sucks that he is likely leaving my fair city within the month and never coming back.
Weight: unknown
Miles: attempted to run 4 last night, had to stop due to knee pain (OH NO!) after mile 2, but did another mile or so on the elliptical with no pain.
Monday, March 12, 2007
11.2
I learned a few thinks on my run yesterday. First, I reaffirmed my belief that I don't like running with a water belt. It makes me feel like I have to pee all the time, makes my back sweaty, and generally just acts as added weight I don't need.
I also learned that my stomach can handle vanilla powergels alright. So, I think I will be sticking to this option for future runs. The powergels taste just like vanilla icing, only with this weird aftertaste - bleh. Anyway, because of the aftertaste, you pretty much have to drink the recommended water with the powergels.
I also learned that while I may feel fine after my run/cooldown, after I get in my car to drive home, I will then walk like a drunk old person. I went to St. Louis Bread company (Panera for those of you who aren't from the St. Louis area) after my run for a nice warm Panini (which will be discussed in the next paragraph). When I got out of the car, all of my joints had stiffened up so they didn't want to bend (especially my ankle for some reason), and I was unable to walk in a straight line. I must have looked pretty funny to all those bread co workers.
As far as the sandwich goes, I learned that I can't eat big rich things after a long run. I literally felt nausious and couldn't finish more than half the sandwich. This is sad because I know how many calories that sandwich has, and pretty much the only time I can imagine letting myself eat it is right after an 11 mile run. I felt better when I got home though. I also learned that beer after a run is maybe the most perfect food. I had two full calorie beers later last night (don't worry I rehydrated on water first) and they were perfection.
So weird tally count of random things:
Miles run: 11.2 yesterday, gonna do a nice slow 3 mile run in the park with a friend tonight.
Weight: 156 (hopefully this is not a mere reflection of dehydration)
Phone calls from random parking lot boy: 9!!!!
Dates with train boy: 1
I also learned that my stomach can handle vanilla powergels alright. So, I think I will be sticking to this option for future runs. The powergels taste just like vanilla icing, only with this weird aftertaste - bleh. Anyway, because of the aftertaste, you pretty much have to drink the recommended water with the powergels.
I also learned that while I may feel fine after my run/cooldown, after I get in my car to drive home, I will then walk like a drunk old person. I went to St. Louis Bread company (Panera for those of you who aren't from the St. Louis area) after my run for a nice warm Panini (which will be discussed in the next paragraph). When I got out of the car, all of my joints had stiffened up so they didn't want to bend (especially my ankle for some reason), and I was unable to walk in a straight line. I must have looked pretty funny to all those bread co workers.
As far as the sandwich goes, I learned that I can't eat big rich things after a long run. I literally felt nausious and couldn't finish more than half the sandwich. This is sad because I know how many calories that sandwich has, and pretty much the only time I can imagine letting myself eat it is right after an 11 mile run. I felt better when I got home though. I also learned that beer after a run is maybe the most perfect food. I had two full calorie beers later last night (don't worry I rehydrated on water first) and they were perfection.
So weird tally count of random things:
Miles run: 11.2 yesterday, gonna do a nice slow 3 mile run in the park with a friend tonight.
Weight: 156 (hopefully this is not a mere reflection of dehydration)
Phone calls from random parking lot boy: 9!!!!
Dates with train boy: 1
Sunday, March 11, 2007
The Chocolate Bar
So last night, I went to this restaurant here that's a bit of a romantic place with one of my friends for dessert after a long day of apartment hunting, shopping, and just generally hanging out. Going out to dessert after our healthy dinner of shashimi and seaweed salad was probably not the best idea for my diet, but hey, sometimes a girl wants a little bread pudding. The dessert was actually really mediocre.
But the dessert wasn't the bad part. The Chocolate Bar, the dessert restaurant, is in a neighborhood known as Lafayette Square. Now, I like this neighborhood, and I used to go to a yoga studio on the same street as the Chocolate Bar. As we walked past the yoga studio, I commented how it was sad that I couldn't go there anymore. I didn't explain why. Then we go in the restuarant, get seated in the main part of the room, and start looking through the menu. The girl I was with was facing out into the main part of the room and she was looking at something so I glanced behind me to look, and then I did a double take. Turns out she was looking out into the room cause this guy was obviously staring at me. He's the reason that I can't go to that yoga studio anymore. This is the guy I was afraid was reading my blog and so I changed my blog's address. This is the guy who my friends were afraid was going to hurt me because he had a tendancy to get jealous.
Anyway, he's sitting at a table a few feet away from us, BY HIMSELF. This isn't the kind of restaurant that I would ever go to by myself. The walls are painted red, and its intended to be a late night date place, although I think it gets maybe more of its business from groups of girls just going out for dessert. The food menu solely consists of yummy desserts and cheeses. Its dimly lit with rose at every table and your water is served out of wine bottles that they leave on the table. The sugar cubes for the coffee are heart shaped. You get the idea...its sad and weird to be sitting at a table at this place by yourself. And...there is a bar area in the front of the restaurant where it wouldn't seem so weird to be sitting by yourself. People probably wouldn't even notice. But, how can you not notice the sad looking GUY sitting by himself in the romantic red room. My heart plummeted when I saw him. I did not want to say hi, and luckily it seems neither did he. I feel bad for him, and I'm so glad I ended that relationship.
Still, its funny to me that there are places that I consider it inappropriate to go alone on a Saturday night. At the sushi place where we ate dinner, there was a guy sitting behind us alone. He was wearing a suit, and had his overcoat over the chair next to him, and even though it was a Saturday night, I didn't really think that he looked sad. Nothing struck me as sad and weird about him grabbing a bite of sushi alone at 5:30 in the evening. I wonder why I make such a distinction...would I thought my ex was weird for going to the Chocolate Bar alone at 8 pm on a Saturday if I hadn't known him? I don't know...
Miles: (to run today) 10 (yikes...but it might end up being 11.2 cause I think I'm just going to do 2 laps of the park and just walk the last mile or so).
Weight: 158 (yeah, I don't get the fluxuations, but whatever)
But the dessert wasn't the bad part. The Chocolate Bar, the dessert restaurant, is in a neighborhood known as Lafayette Square. Now, I like this neighborhood, and I used to go to a yoga studio on the same street as the Chocolate Bar. As we walked past the yoga studio, I commented how it was sad that I couldn't go there anymore. I didn't explain why. Then we go in the restuarant, get seated in the main part of the room, and start looking through the menu. The girl I was with was facing out into the main part of the room and she was looking at something so I glanced behind me to look, and then I did a double take. Turns out she was looking out into the room cause this guy was obviously staring at me. He's the reason that I can't go to that yoga studio anymore. This is the guy I was afraid was reading my blog and so I changed my blog's address. This is the guy who my friends were afraid was going to hurt me because he had a tendancy to get jealous.
Anyway, he's sitting at a table a few feet away from us, BY HIMSELF. This isn't the kind of restaurant that I would ever go to by myself. The walls are painted red, and its intended to be a late night date place, although I think it gets maybe more of its business from groups of girls just going out for dessert. The food menu solely consists of yummy desserts and cheeses. Its dimly lit with rose at every table and your water is served out of wine bottles that they leave on the table. The sugar cubes for the coffee are heart shaped. You get the idea...its sad and weird to be sitting at a table at this place by yourself. And...there is a bar area in the front of the restaurant where it wouldn't seem so weird to be sitting by yourself. People probably wouldn't even notice. But, how can you not notice the sad looking GUY sitting by himself in the romantic red room. My heart plummeted when I saw him. I did not want to say hi, and luckily it seems neither did he. I feel bad for him, and I'm so glad I ended that relationship.
Still, its funny to me that there are places that I consider it inappropriate to go alone on a Saturday night. At the sushi place where we ate dinner, there was a guy sitting behind us alone. He was wearing a suit, and had his overcoat over the chair next to him, and even though it was a Saturday night, I didn't really think that he looked sad. Nothing struck me as sad and weird about him grabbing a bite of sushi alone at 5:30 in the evening. I wonder why I make such a distinction...would I thought my ex was weird for going to the Chocolate Bar alone at 8 pm on a Saturday if I hadn't known him? I don't know...
Miles: (to run today) 10 (yikes...but it might end up being 11.2 cause I think I'm just going to do 2 laps of the park and just walk the last mile or so).
Weight: 158 (yeah, I don't get the fluxuations, but whatever)
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Wanna go shopping?
Apparently, I'm exuding the "I'm a hot single girl" vibe right now. I don't really get it. Tonight in the parking lot of my local grocery store, I got picked up. The opening line was..."hey, I like your car, how many miles do you have on it?" Normally, I wouldn't respond to some random guy leaning out his car window, talking to me, but I thought maybe he was interested in buying my car. Now, its not for sale, but the air conditioning doesn't work so I would probably take a good offer if it was made on my car. Turns out, dude, just thinks I'm cute. He asks me where I go to school, and I actually talked to him. When did I become girl that random guys try to pick up? Is this normal? Do other women experience the grocery store parking lot pickup? Its not like he tried to pick me up in the produce aisle...that I would find totally normal ;-)
I'm not really interested in this guy. He's cute, but it was apparent that he hadn't gone to college - and the parking lot thing was less cute and more weird than the train thing. Still, I gave him my number. I guess we will see if he calls (sadly, haven't heard from train boy since I received that text message last Wednesday) so I'll be screening my phone calls for the next week or so.
Miles: 1.7 (walking on treadmill - god my thighs hurt today)
Weight: 157.5
I'm not really interested in this guy. He's cute, but it was apparent that he hadn't gone to college - and the parking lot thing was less cute and more weird than the train thing. Still, I gave him my number. I guess we will see if he calls (sadly, haven't heard from train boy since I received that text message last Wednesday) so I'll be screening my phone calls for the next week or so.
Miles: 1.7 (walking on treadmill - god my thighs hurt today)
Weight: 157.5
Monday, March 05, 2007
word to the wise
Mexican food and distance running don't mix. In the future, I highly recommend not eating gross tamales, tortilla chips, and some very bad fried ice cream, drinking a margarita, and then attempting to run 8 miles. You might be able to run the 8 miles, but you will not enjoy it.
Tonight, that's exactly what I did. On a treadmill. In a stagnant gym. I hadn't run in over a week because of the Illinois bar and then this awful cold that I just haven't been able to kick. I've finally been able to breathe out of both sides of my nose again today (even though more of it is in my chest) so I decided it was ok to run today. I needed to do 8 or I knew that the 10 I'm supposed to run next Sunday would be killer. Let's just say that the 8 tonight nearly killed me by itself. I've never gotten off a treadmill before feeling like I might barf, while my entire body was shaking. I think, this was not a good run.
The first two miles weren't too bad. They were tedious cause I was intentionally holding myself to a very slow pace, but generally I felt great. I got a little bit of side stitch near the end of mile 2, but controlling my breathing made it go away. By the end of mile 3 the burbing starting. Disgusting tamales didn't taste too good the second time around either. I was still doing pretty well all the way through mile 6, but then at mile 7 I could feel my blood pounding in my head. Even minute seemed like an eternity and I really felt sluggish and ill. I think I had become seriously dehydrated at that point (hmmm...drinking alcohol before running 8 miles is not a good idea...shocker...). I wasn't sure if I could do the last mile, but I was bound and determined. I hadn't run 7 painful miles to give up during the 8th. I survived and I did it in the time I set out to, but please remember - Mexican food and drinks and distance running are not a happy mix.
Miles: 8 (95:45)
Weight: who the hell cares! I ran 8 miles tonight!!
Tonight, that's exactly what I did. On a treadmill. In a stagnant gym. I hadn't run in over a week because of the Illinois bar and then this awful cold that I just haven't been able to kick. I've finally been able to breathe out of both sides of my nose again today (even though more of it is in my chest) so I decided it was ok to run today. I needed to do 8 or I knew that the 10 I'm supposed to run next Sunday would be killer. Let's just say that the 8 tonight nearly killed me by itself. I've never gotten off a treadmill before feeling like I might barf, while my entire body was shaking. I think, this was not a good run.
The first two miles weren't too bad. They were tedious cause I was intentionally holding myself to a very slow pace, but generally I felt great. I got a little bit of side stitch near the end of mile 2, but controlling my breathing made it go away. By the end of mile 3 the burbing starting. Disgusting tamales didn't taste too good the second time around either. I was still doing pretty well all the way through mile 6, but then at mile 7 I could feel my blood pounding in my head. Even minute seemed like an eternity and I really felt sluggish and ill. I think I had become seriously dehydrated at that point (hmmm...drinking alcohol before running 8 miles is not a good idea...shocker...). I wasn't sure if I could do the last mile, but I was bound and determined. I hadn't run 7 painful miles to give up during the 8th. I survived and I did it in the time I set out to, but please remember - Mexican food and drinks and distance running are not a happy mix.
Miles: 8 (95:45)
Weight: who the hell cares! I ran 8 miles tonight!!
Friday, March 02, 2007
stress makes me fat...
So, I haven't been particularly good since Tuesday, and on Monday and Tuesday I ate all kinds of inappropriate things (think pizza and ice cream and twizzlers and McDonalds and Chinese). Still, somehow today I put on one of my suits that lets me know when I'm gaining weight (last week the jacket was a squidge tight) and the jacket was swimming on me. I went downstairs and weighed myself...ummm...I lost most of the weight I gained. And, I haven't gone for a run in a week. My body constantly surprises me.
Weight: 156.5 (home scale)
Miles: 0 (no miles run since last Friday - I have to get over this cold)
Weight: 156.5 (home scale)
Miles: 0 (no miles run since last Friday - I have to get over this cold)
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
what's the point of having friends that you pay for if...
So, this post is in response to something I read on g-phi Christin's blog www.cristinstickles.com. While I recognize that what was done DePauw is not all that unusual, it just seems pretty horrible to me. I mean, while both the DGs and Phi Mus at my college had a pretty bad reputation and had trouble with recruiting, I can't imagine that this would have been a good idea. The girls who aren't slim and popular need friends too. Quite frankly, they possibly need a sorority more than slim popular girls. I mean, what's the point of having friends that you pay for, if the people who run the organization can come in when you are a senior and tell you that you aren't good enough. I can't imagine how much that would hurt.
I find it very hard to believe that the president of that chapter wasn't "committed" enough to recruitment. No one takes on the responsibility of being president of a sorority chapter unless they are committed to that chapter.
So what if they weren't the most popular girls on campus. So what if they had a hard time with formal rush. So what if they had a reputation for being geeky. They filled a niche on campus. Maybe DePauw doesn't have enough cute, popular girls to fill yet another sorority with blond bimboness.
I'm not ashamed that I was in the sorority at William and Mary with consistently the highest GPA while I was there. In fact, its something I think we all had a right to be proud of. The smart girls can be fun too;-)
So, I forgot to post my weight this morning...
Weight: 157.5 (homescale - at least it came down from the 159.5...even though my eating this past weekend was still not stellar)
Miles: 0 - I was supposed to run 4 today, but I feel like crap, have a migraine, my throat hurts and my ears itch. Today is a day to crawl into bed early and sleep till I have to get up and go to work. I'll run tomorrow.
I find it very hard to believe that the president of that chapter wasn't "committed" enough to recruitment. No one takes on the responsibility of being president of a sorority chapter unless they are committed to that chapter.
So what if they weren't the most popular girls on campus. So what if they had a hard time with formal rush. So what if they had a reputation for being geeky. They filled a niche on campus. Maybe DePauw doesn't have enough cute, popular girls to fill yet another sorority with blond bimboness.
I'm not ashamed that I was in the sorority at William and Mary with consistently the highest GPA while I was there. In fact, its something I think we all had a right to be proud of. The smart girls can be fun too;-)
So, I forgot to post my weight this morning...
Weight: 157.5 (homescale - at least it came down from the 159.5...even though my eating this past weekend was still not stellar)
Miles: 0 - I was supposed to run 4 today, but I feel like crap, have a migraine, my throat hurts and my ears itch. Today is a day to crawl into bed early and sleep till I have to get up and go to work. I'll run tomorrow.
choo-choo
Yesterday, I took the Illinois bar exam. I won't write much about the actual exam except to say that I'm eternally grateful that it is over, and I hope that it is the last bar exam I ever have to take. I'll find out in about 6 weeks how it went.
The real drama for me was in getting to the exam. I was supposed to take a 7:30 pm flight out of STL on Monday. Unfortunately, the weather in Chicago hadn't been the best for the past couple of days. Sunday, apparently, was just plain awful and almost all of American Airlines' flights into and out of Chicago had been cancelled. So Monday morning, I get to work, not stressing too much at all. I check the American website and find out that the morning flights are running on a delay and that its snowing in Chicago. I begin freaking out just a little. I talk to my coworkers and they convince me that I should leave now (around noon) and go to the airport and try to fly standby on an earlier flight. I get to the airport around 12:30 and get on the standby list for the 2:00 flight. Then that flight is delayed, and delayed again, and delayed again. Finally they start loading the plane at 4ish. By 4:30 the plane had all of its original passengers and they were letting on the standby people. I didn't get on, but then they close the door. I go up there to ask if they will transfer my name to the new standby list for the next flight, and the guy says that they aren't done with this flight yet. They just aren't letting anyone else on the plane because...wait for it...O'HARE IS CLOSED and they don't know when they are going to be able to take this plane out.
At this point, I freak out for real. I feel like I'm going to vomit. I have to get to Chicago, and I'm convinced that if O'Hare is closed (which it later turned out that wasn't true) that there is no way my 7:30 flight is going. So, I do want any logical person would do...I haul my butt down to Amtrak. I speed down I-70 attempting to make what I thought was the 5 pm Amtrak train. I get there with plenty of time to spare as the train is actually a 5:30 train. I get on the train and proceed to call my parents, my brother, one of my coworkers, etc. and describe my past couple of hours and tell them all I am now on the train. Then I do a little studying and attempt to take a nap on my bags.
Sometime after my nap, while I am avoiding the giant BAR/BRI book I brought with me, this guy starts talking to me. He's pretty cute so I talk back. Anyway, we end up having a great conversation. Turns out that he is an actor working in the Lou who moved here after 8 years in LA. He's very interesting and ummm...hot. So, he's supposed to be working on this monologue for his audition in Chicago (the reason for his train trip). Eventually he invites me to come sit by him and lets me listen to the music on his computer. It was pretty cool. He played me his original stuff and then some other random music that I didn't really know. This really helped cause I had accidentally left my iPod at work and had no fun reading material (just the study materials). Anyway, as its getting late he invites me to nap on his shoulder - it was very cute. Cuddling up with a random boy on the train totally made my night and helped me relax after the freak out at the airport. I gave him my number before we got off the train, but I honestly never expected to hear from him again. I was pretty happy to wake up this morning to find a text message from him - telling me that he hoped my test went well. Who knew you could meet someone pretty cool on Amtrak?!
The real drama for me was in getting to the exam. I was supposed to take a 7:30 pm flight out of STL on Monday. Unfortunately, the weather in Chicago hadn't been the best for the past couple of days. Sunday, apparently, was just plain awful and almost all of American Airlines' flights into and out of Chicago had been cancelled. So Monday morning, I get to work, not stressing too much at all. I check the American website and find out that the morning flights are running on a delay and that its snowing in Chicago. I begin freaking out just a little. I talk to my coworkers and they convince me that I should leave now (around noon) and go to the airport and try to fly standby on an earlier flight. I get to the airport around 12:30 and get on the standby list for the 2:00 flight. Then that flight is delayed, and delayed again, and delayed again. Finally they start loading the plane at 4ish. By 4:30 the plane had all of its original passengers and they were letting on the standby people. I didn't get on, but then they close the door. I go up there to ask if they will transfer my name to the new standby list for the next flight, and the guy says that they aren't done with this flight yet. They just aren't letting anyone else on the plane because...wait for it...O'HARE IS CLOSED and they don't know when they are going to be able to take this plane out.
At this point, I freak out for real. I feel like I'm going to vomit. I have to get to Chicago, and I'm convinced that if O'Hare is closed (which it later turned out that wasn't true) that there is no way my 7:30 flight is going. So, I do want any logical person would do...I haul my butt down to Amtrak. I speed down I-70 attempting to make what I thought was the 5 pm Amtrak train. I get there with plenty of time to spare as the train is actually a 5:30 train. I get on the train and proceed to call my parents, my brother, one of my coworkers, etc. and describe my past couple of hours and tell them all I am now on the train. Then I do a little studying and attempt to take a nap on my bags.
Sometime after my nap, while I am avoiding the giant BAR/BRI book I brought with me, this guy starts talking to me. He's pretty cute so I talk back. Anyway, we end up having a great conversation. Turns out that he is an actor working in the Lou who moved here after 8 years in LA. He's very interesting and ummm...hot. So, he's supposed to be working on this monologue for his audition in Chicago (the reason for his train trip). Eventually he invites me to come sit by him and lets me listen to the music on his computer. It was pretty cool. He played me his original stuff and then some other random music that I didn't really know. This really helped cause I had accidentally left my iPod at work and had no fun reading material (just the study materials). Anyway, as its getting late he invites me to nap on his shoulder - it was very cute. Cuddling up with a random boy on the train totally made my night and helped me relax after the freak out at the airport. I gave him my number before we got off the train, but I honestly never expected to hear from him again. I was pretty happy to wake up this morning to find a text message from him - telling me that he hoped my test went well. Who knew you could meet someone pretty cool on Amtrak?!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
self-sabotage
So, I think I have a bit of an issue with self-sabotage. First off, whenever I start to feel really good about the way I look and am feeling fit, I start eating like a crazy person. After two weeks of not writing down what I've been eating and generally eating badly (at home...I'm still good at work). Usually I haven't had more than 700 calories when I get home at night and then all hell breaks loose. And its not that I'm starving myself during the day and that's what causes the night time eating...I eat like a crazy person for entire weekends if I'm sitting at home. Now, part of this is that I am actually stressing a bit about the bar exam that I'm taking on Tuesday. Outwardly, I look like I'm unconcerned, but honestly, I haven't studied nearly enough (not like I did for Missouri) and I feel totally unprepared. I know I am an emotional eater so this isn't helping the situation any. Regardless, I shouldn't be eating like a crazy person. Its not that I don't have healthy food available. My fridge is stocked with yummy apples (mmmm...Pacific Rose), ripe grapes, clementines, and even pears. I've got nice wholesome things like frozen brocolli and whole wheat pasta. And yet, I've also allowed myself to buy stupid things lately. I've bought a small pint of Ben & Jerry's frozen yogurt, ingredients to bake a chocolate cake for valentines day (I baked it, things didn't work as planned...and I ate too much half baked chocolate cake), chocolate covered strawberries, and even mac and cheese. I even made homemade cookie dough. What is WRONG with me. I was doing really well with my diet. I looked really good in my clothes. The "fat face" was diminishing - I actually looked thin. And now, two weeks later - its like I'm back where I started. My fitness level is better cause I haven't sabotaged the running, but I'm so frustrated with myself and my eating. Why can't I do this? Why do I buy those things? Why can't I eat like a normal 26 year old?
On the dating front I think I also self sabotage. Part of it is that I can't seem to get excited about nice guys. I think I'm attracted to the wrong people. Plus, I don't know what I want. Of course, I think I want certain things, but do I really? I met up with the boy I mentioned below tonight for our "exchange of stuff," and I know he wanted an explanation of why, but honestly I don't a why. I just didn't feel it, and part of that is that I don't know what "it" is. Yes, I've been in love before, but I don't know why I feel for those guys...what the spark was that made me want to be with them. Hopefully that spark will find me again, but I think now realize that I can't make that spark appear if it isn't there to begin with. Am I right?
Weight: 159.5 (gahhhhh!!!)
Miles: 2 (20:00 - what's impressive about this is that the second mile was actually run in 9 minutes...I was very happy with myself - so there Presidential Physical Fitness test ;-))
On the dating front I think I also self sabotage. Part of it is that I can't seem to get excited about nice guys. I think I'm attracted to the wrong people. Plus, I don't know what I want. Of course, I think I want certain things, but do I really? I met up with the boy I mentioned below tonight for our "exchange of stuff," and I know he wanted an explanation of why, but honestly I don't a why. I just didn't feel it, and part of that is that I don't know what "it" is. Yes, I've been in love before, but I don't know why I feel for those guys...what the spark was that made me want to be with them. Hopefully that spark will find me again, but I think now realize that I can't make that spark appear if it isn't there to begin with. Am I right?
Weight: 159.5 (gahhhhh!!!)
Miles: 2 (20:00 - what's impressive about this is that the second mile was actually run in 9 minutes...I was very happy with myself - so there Presidential Physical Fitness test ;-))
Monday, February 19, 2007
coming to accept my singleness
So, I recently broke up with a boy. There really was nothing "wrong" with this boy. He is nice, and not ugly, and not stupid, and not bad in bed. The problem was that he is nice and not ugly and not stupid and not bad in bed, but also not extraordinary in any real way that I could tell. I'm coming to realize that I expect something more than ordinary in someone I want to spend some real time with. Unless someone brings something to the table that challenges me/makes me happier/makes me a better person, I'm not really interested any more. I have plenty of great friends to spend my time with, and honestly, I don't mind being alone. I enjoy my own company (man doesn't this sounds like I'm full of myself).
None of this is to say that guys may not find me completely ordinary if I don't show them what is so special about me. I'm sure there is something extraordinary about that guy I just ended my relationship with, but I gave him a month and he still hadn't shown me what it was by that time. After a month of still feeling "eh," it was time to move on. The main reason I had stuck things out so long was that he was so "nice," but lately he hadn't even been fitting that description quite so well. He essentially nominated me to make Valentine's day dinner and then utterly failed to carry his end of the meal (couldn't bring side dishes, couldn't pick out wine on his own, and then showed up with an alright bottle of Chardonnay...that was warm). Also, he displayed a complete lack of interest in something that means a great deal to me, didn't ask a single question about it, and asked why I was even mentioning such a thing when he thought we were headed to bed. I think this last thing sealed his doom...
Anyway, as a result, I'm no longer looking for a while. I don't need a guy to feel great about myself and my life. I'm quite happy alone or hanging out with friends. So, if I mean someone great, wonderful. If I keep hanging out with friends and enjoying the company of others, but not a particular romantic interest, so be it. I'm done feeling bad about being single.
Miles run: 7 (and it felt GREAT - YAY 50 degree temps!!)
Weight: 158 (last time I checked, but who knows really - its been days since I last stepped on a scale and I've had a couple of very bad days of binging. That stops tonight, tomorrow I'm back on track!)
None of this is to say that guys may not find me completely ordinary if I don't show them what is so special about me. I'm sure there is something extraordinary about that guy I just ended my relationship with, but I gave him a month and he still hadn't shown me what it was by that time. After a month of still feeling "eh," it was time to move on. The main reason I had stuck things out so long was that he was so "nice," but lately he hadn't even been fitting that description quite so well. He essentially nominated me to make Valentine's day dinner and then utterly failed to carry his end of the meal (couldn't bring side dishes, couldn't pick out wine on his own, and then showed up with an alright bottle of Chardonnay...that was warm). Also, he displayed a complete lack of interest in something that means a great deal to me, didn't ask a single question about it, and asked why I was even mentioning such a thing when he thought we were headed to bed. I think this last thing sealed his doom...
Anyway, as a result, I'm no longer looking for a while. I don't need a guy to feel great about myself and my life. I'm quite happy alone or hanging out with friends. So, if I mean someone great, wonderful. If I keep hanging out with friends and enjoying the company of others, but not a particular romantic interest, so be it. I'm done feeling bad about being single.
Miles run: 7 (and it felt GREAT - YAY 50 degree temps!!)
Weight: 158 (last time I checked, but who knows really - its been days since I last stepped on a scale and I've had a couple of very bad days of binging. That stops tonight, tomorrow I'm back on track!)
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Who cares about Anna Nicole Smith?
I've got to admit that this one has been bugging me since Friday when I had my great run. I didn't want to bitch about it then because it had no place in that blog post, but honestly, why is this the lead story on CNN? I mean, ok, she died. Ok, she had a case before the Supreme Court. Ok, her baby daddy might be Howard Stern. Why am I supposed to care? Seems like she's just one more trashy girl who could have gone on Montel with like 8 men getting paternity tests and that Montel would have to come out and tell her, I'm sorry but none of these men are your baby daddy.
Honestly, is this how celebrity obsessed our society has become? People are dying in Iraq, Barack Obama announces that he is running for President, and the lead story is Anna Nicole...really? I haven't been following the story, but every time I flip through a news channel, there it is, another scandal being talked about regarding her death. Personally, I think its a sad event for her family and the people who cared about her, especially that little baby, but its not something our society should care about. I can't believe I'm really contributing to this - but I had to voice my disapproval. Like OJ confession book, this is a news story I intend to boycott.
Weight: 156 (homescale)
Miles: 6 (outside - wooo for the first time in 2 weeks, thank god for our brief warm up!) This is the week that my millage is going to start ramping up - next week's long run is 7 miles (one mile shorter than the longest run I've ever done)
Honestly, is this how celebrity obsessed our society has become? People are dying in Iraq, Barack Obama announces that he is running for President, and the lead story is Anna Nicole...really? I haven't been following the story, but every time I flip through a news channel, there it is, another scandal being talked about regarding her death. Personally, I think its a sad event for her family and the people who cared about her, especially that little baby, but its not something our society should care about. I can't believe I'm really contributing to this - but I had to voice my disapproval. Like OJ confession book, this is a news story I intend to boycott.
Weight: 156 (homescale)
Miles: 6 (outside - wooo for the first time in 2 weeks, thank god for our brief warm up!) This is the week that my millage is going to start ramping up - next week's long run is 7 miles (one mile shorter than the longest run I've ever done)
Saturday, February 10, 2007
curly girl
Within the past three years, I've gone from being somebody who had very short hair to somebody with semi-long hair. I'm still working on growing it out, but I was beginning to not know how to deal with it. Something that I've been fighting since I was about 13 is the "wave" in my hair. Its not "curly" per se...there are very few cute ringlets that I admire in other people's hair (like my friend kk's), but it really isn't straight. Unless I pull out a straightener I end up having ends that look a bit fried. In fact, recently my hair was starting to look very damaged. I had been showering and blowing dry every day, and I didn't know what to do to fix it. No matter how much conditioner I used or how much shine serum, it still looked, well burnt. This had been happening for quite some time before the horrible hair dyeing incident (which I still don't like, but I'm coming to accept as alright).
So, last week, I didn't blow dry my hair one day and then I went in to work the next morning. One of my co-workers (with beautiful ringlet type curls) was suprised by the wave in my hair and asked me if it was natural or whether I had curled it. I told her a little about my natural hair issues, and she told me about the "curly girl" philosophy for curly hair and suggested I visit her salon for a "curl consultation." I felt silly, but I made the appointment. I've always wanted to wear my hair curly, but never felt like it looked good that way. Now, I have found a way that actually works. Its a bit of a weird system, but I think I can get used to it. Here's the deal:
I'm only supposed to wash my hair with shampoo once a week, and then its ONLY my scalp. When I shampoo, I'm supposed to coat the ends of my hair with conditioner. Then, I condition my hair all over and rinse out. Finally, I add more conditioner and just squeeze out the extra water. The conditioner doesn't go on my scalp. Then I dry my hair by twisting out some of the water and then scrunching with a t-shirt or something. Then I apply massive amounts of gel and then I'm not allowed to touch it again until its completely dry. While using a diffuser is ok, its not recommended - just straight up air drying is preferred. Anyway, I've been doing it for a couple of days now, and I've got to admit my curls have never looked better. I actually look like I have curly hair. Also, reading the "curly girl" book has really helped with my hair esteem. I had always been one of those women who didn't let her hair be curly cause I thought it made me look messy/sloppy/unprofessional, but I always admired curly hair on other people (go figure). I think part of it was that I had never met anyone at a salon who knew how to deal with my hair type, and now I do. Its really cool. I'll try to post a pic of the new curly do when I get a chance (I'm not good at the self-shots).
Weight: 156.2 (official ww weigh-in - whoo down .6! even with the superbowl)
No running today (weekly day off - but I might get some cross-training in because I had a rest day on Thursday)
So, last week, I didn't blow dry my hair one day and then I went in to work the next morning. One of my co-workers (with beautiful ringlet type curls) was suprised by the wave in my hair and asked me if it was natural or whether I had curled it. I told her a little about my natural hair issues, and she told me about the "curly girl" philosophy for curly hair and suggested I visit her salon for a "curl consultation." I felt silly, but I made the appointment. I've always wanted to wear my hair curly, but never felt like it looked good that way. Now, I have found a way that actually works. Its a bit of a weird system, but I think I can get used to it. Here's the deal:
I'm only supposed to wash my hair with shampoo once a week, and then its ONLY my scalp. When I shampoo, I'm supposed to coat the ends of my hair with conditioner. Then, I condition my hair all over and rinse out. Finally, I add more conditioner and just squeeze out the extra water. The conditioner doesn't go on my scalp. Then I dry my hair by twisting out some of the water and then scrunching with a t-shirt or something. Then I apply massive amounts of gel and then I'm not allowed to touch it again until its completely dry. While using a diffuser is ok, its not recommended - just straight up air drying is preferred. Anyway, I've been doing it for a couple of days now, and I've got to admit my curls have never looked better. I actually look like I have curly hair. Also, reading the "curly girl" book has really helped with my hair esteem. I had always been one of those women who didn't let her hair be curly cause I thought it made me look messy/sloppy/unprofessional, but I always admired curly hair on other people (go figure). I think part of it was that I had never met anyone at a salon who knew how to deal with my hair type, and now I do. Its really cool. I'll try to post a pic of the new curly do when I get a chance (I'm not good at the self-shots).
Weight: 156.2 (official ww weigh-in - whoo down .6! even with the superbowl)
No running today (weekly day off - but I might get some cross-training in because I had a rest day on Thursday)
Friday, February 09, 2007
I run for life
Today it all clicked. For the first time since I started running again last fall (after about six months of not running more than a mile without walking), I got that runner's high, that feeling that you could run forever and that it would never hurt, that feeling that I am so powerful, that feeling that sends tingles up your spine and makes the hair on your arms stand up. Part of it was that I was well rested and part of it was listening to this song (repeatedly after I got that wonderful feeling the first time). My training called for a three mile run today, but no way was I stopping after only three miles.
Something about hearing Melissa Etheridge's voice blaring: "She'll tell you it makes her complete. I run for hope. I run to feel. I run for the truth, for all that is real. I run for your mother, your sister, your daughter, your wife. I run for you and me, my friend. I run for life" reminds me of why I am doing this and how life changing it has been for me. True, I don't run because of cancer, but I run because of something almost as insidious - facing my own prospects of an early death due to obesity. I also do run for all those things. Running has become for me an outward manifestation of all my hopes and dreams, of the impossible I can achieve. I was that girl in your elementary school class who couldn't run the mile for the presidential physical fitness exam. It was annual embarrassment that just made me feel emotionally terrible about myself and physically in an immense amount of pain. Its the only thing I can remember cheating at as an elementary school child - one of my friends once counted me as going an extra lap around the track. She probably saved me from being the last person to finish that day.
I was convinced then that I just couldn't run. I was convinced that my body just wasn't meant to do this, that I never could, that it was impossible for me to run a sub-ten minute mile. And now, now I know its not. For me, training for this half-marathon is my hope for a future that's brighter than I see when I look at my parents. I don't want to have had both of my knees replaced before I am sixty after 10 years of incredible pain. I don't want to be so overweight I'm convinced I can never even be close to a healthy weight. I don't want to be on daily medications for high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Its future I refuse to accept and running, running brings me hope and faith that its a future I don't have to accept.
I am running for more. Today, while I was running I pictured the Komen St. Louis Race for the Cure - as of last June it was the largest Race for the Cure in the Country. How powerful is that image: http://stltoday.mycapture.com/mycapture/enlarge.asp?userphoto=0&image=12718952&thispage=1
I'm gonna be a part of it this year (ummm...assuming that our float trip isn't the same day like it was last year...hehe, a girl's gotta have priorities ;-) )
Anyway, today felt great, and I refuse to be upset about my weight gain this week. My skinny clothes fit so really the scale is a bit irrelevant. Yes, I would like to weigh something that would make my bmi be in the "healthy" range, but I'll accept being able to zip my size 6 ann taylor pants (they still don't fit to the point where I would wear them out, but they zip without catching!)
Weight: 158 (home scale)
Miles: 5 (53:31)
Something about hearing Melissa Etheridge's voice blaring: "She'll tell you it makes her complete. I run for hope. I run to feel. I run for the truth, for all that is real. I run for your mother, your sister, your daughter, your wife. I run for you and me, my friend. I run for life" reminds me of why I am doing this and how life changing it has been for me. True, I don't run because of cancer, but I run because of something almost as insidious - facing my own prospects of an early death due to obesity. I also do run for all those things. Running has become for me an outward manifestation of all my hopes and dreams, of the impossible I can achieve. I was that girl in your elementary school class who couldn't run the mile for the presidential physical fitness exam. It was annual embarrassment that just made me feel emotionally terrible about myself and physically in an immense amount of pain. Its the only thing I can remember cheating at as an elementary school child - one of my friends once counted me as going an extra lap around the track. She probably saved me from being the last person to finish that day.
I was convinced then that I just couldn't run. I was convinced that my body just wasn't meant to do this, that I never could, that it was impossible for me to run a sub-ten minute mile. And now, now I know its not. For me, training for this half-marathon is my hope for a future that's brighter than I see when I look at my parents. I don't want to have had both of my knees replaced before I am sixty after 10 years of incredible pain. I don't want to be so overweight I'm convinced I can never even be close to a healthy weight. I don't want to be on daily medications for high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Its future I refuse to accept and running, running brings me hope and faith that its a future I don't have to accept.
I am running for more. Today, while I was running I pictured the Komen St. Louis Race for the Cure - as of last June it was the largest Race for the Cure in the Country. How powerful is that image: http://stltoday.mycapture.com/mycapture/enlarge.asp?userphoto=0&image=12718952&thispage=1
I'm gonna be a part of it this year (ummm...assuming that our float trip isn't the same day like it was last year...hehe, a girl's gotta have priorities ;-) )
Anyway, today felt great, and I refuse to be upset about my weight gain this week. My skinny clothes fit so really the scale is a bit irrelevant. Yes, I would like to weigh something that would make my bmi be in the "healthy" range, but I'll accept being able to zip my size 6 ann taylor pants (they still don't fit to the point where I would wear them out, but they zip without catching!)
Weight: 158 (home scale)
Miles: 5 (53:31)
Thursday, February 08, 2007
I'm not an addict, its cool...
So, yesterday I learned a few things about myself. First, I am an addict, a caffeine addict. I thought I had kicked this habit quite some time ago when I first gave up soda, but yesterday proved me wrong. About a year ago, I reintroduced caffeine into my diet, and since I've been working, I've had a cup of coffee to start my day every morning. Yesterday, I skipped the coffee because we were out of creamer and splenda. I figured I would be ok without it. Man was I wrong. By about 2:30 the headache had set in. All I wanted to do was curl up in a little ball and sleep for like 3 days. I knew immediately that my old caffeine addiction was back, so I hurried downstairs and purchased myself some diet pepsi (yay 2 cans for $1). I downed them almost immediately (didn't really take a break between cans) and then waited for the caffeine addicts bliss to kick in. Within an hour I was feeling almost human again. I've learned my lesson, do not fight the caffeine unless you are willing to wage a true battle. Yesterday was not the day for that fight - perhaps some day when I don't need to run four miles and meet up with a boy later.
I also realized that working out gives me a ton of physical self confidence. While my weight has moved in the wrong direction this week (I warned you that my superbowl gluttony would haunt me - who understand why my metabolism is soooo bad), I don't feel bad about myself or that I look "fat." Instead, I feel like a lean mean running machine. I haven't stuck to my minimum points since Sunday, but I haven't had any more days where I used more than 5 flex points so I'm also generally eating well. Its wonderful to feel good about my body image even when I'm not satisfied about my weight.
The third thing I realized is that I can't keep up the personal training and the running. Tuesday night I had another session (my last one that I had previously paid for) and he had me do squats and lunges and single leg stuff. So, yesterday on the treadmill, my legs felt like lead. I didn't think I could run the full four miles. After one mile, I promised myself that if I finished 2 I could stop. Then when I got to 2, I promised that when I got to 3 I could walk the last mile. When I got to 3, I tried walking fast, but it turned out that jogging slow actually hurt my butt less. So, I finished what was supposed to have been my speed workout at my slowest pace in a really long time (ug...4 miles in 46:02), but at least I finished. No more randomly working out my butt on one of my two non-running days. At least not until the half-marathon is over. Part of this is that I actually really like my legs/butt anyway, so I don't really feel the need to make them hurt without running.
Anyway,
Weight (158 - yeah sucks)
Miles:4 (46:02 yesterday), 2 miles to run today
I also realized that working out gives me a ton of physical self confidence. While my weight has moved in the wrong direction this week (I warned you that my superbowl gluttony would haunt me - who understand why my metabolism is soooo bad), I don't feel bad about myself or that I look "fat." Instead, I feel like a lean mean running machine. I haven't stuck to my minimum points since Sunday, but I haven't had any more days where I used more than 5 flex points so I'm also generally eating well. Its wonderful to feel good about my body image even when I'm not satisfied about my weight.
The third thing I realized is that I can't keep up the personal training and the running. Tuesday night I had another session (my last one that I had previously paid for) and he had me do squats and lunges and single leg stuff. So, yesterday on the treadmill, my legs felt like lead. I didn't think I could run the full four miles. After one mile, I promised myself that if I finished 2 I could stop. Then when I got to 2, I promised that when I got to 3 I could walk the last mile. When I got to 3, I tried walking fast, but it turned out that jogging slow actually hurt my butt less. So, I finished what was supposed to have been my speed workout at my slowest pace in a really long time (ug...4 miles in 46:02), but at least I finished. No more randomly working out my butt on one of my two non-running days. At least not until the half-marathon is over. Part of this is that I actually really like my legs/butt anyway, so I don't really feel the need to make them hurt without running.
Anyway,
Weight (158 - yeah sucks)
Miles:4 (46:02 yesterday), 2 miles to run today
Sunday, February 04, 2007
gluttony
So, one thing I can say about the Superbowl...it inspires complete gluttony in me. Something about the sitting around watching football with friends while massive quanities of food sit out on a nearby table just makes me eat, and eat, and eat. All in all, I didn't do that badly tonight. Part of it was that I did an hour on the treadmill today (yay 5 mile run - booo being on the treadmill) so I had some extra calories to burn and part of it was that I limited myself to diet pepsi instead of beer.
My real downfall...one of my friends made chocolate fondue. She had available: marshmellows, strawberries, graham crackers, cookies....mmmmmm. Plus, they had these yummy chedder pretzel things. So, I used 12 flex points in addition to the 8 activity points that my hour long run had earned me. That means I ate about 2,000 calories or so today - not too bad, by not particularly good. I'm actually kind of pleased with myself because I ate a lot, but I didn't eat until I was sick. My tummy feels full and happy - not like I need to vomit. This is a big deal for me. I tend to lose complete control in situations like this. Anyway, I anticipate that my weight will be up slightly tomorrow, but honestly if you can't be bad every once in a while, this just isn't worth it.
Weight: 155 (home scale)
Official weight for the week: 156.8 (weight watchers yesterday)
Miles: 5 (54:10 plus 6 minutes of walking to cool down)
My real downfall...one of my friends made chocolate fondue. She had available: marshmellows, strawberries, graham crackers, cookies....mmmmmm. Plus, they had these yummy chedder pretzel things. So, I used 12 flex points in addition to the 8 activity points that my hour long run had earned me. That means I ate about 2,000 calories or so today - not too bad, by not particularly good. I'm actually kind of pleased with myself because I ate a lot, but I didn't eat until I was sick. My tummy feels full and happy - not like I need to vomit. This is a big deal for me. I tend to lose complete control in situations like this. Anyway, I anticipate that my weight will be up slightly tomorrow, but honestly if you can't be bad every once in a while, this just isn't worth it.
Weight: 155 (home scale)
Official weight for the week: 156.8 (weight watchers yesterday)
Miles: 5 (54:10 plus 6 minutes of walking to cool down)
Saturday, February 03, 2007
folk fest...
So last night I went to the St. Louis Folk Festival. It was quite a diverse crowd. There were a lot of crunchy granola types there, but then there were people like me (semi-professional types, still wearing their work clothes), then there were the 55 year olds who remembered the good old days, and finally the families. The concert itself was pretty awesome. The three bands played for over three hours. I went to the concert because this band that iTunes had introduced me to was playing. They were the third band, and while I really enjoyed the performance, I thought that one of the band members was a little flat on his solo portions of the songs. I did get to hear two of my favorite songs by the band, though (even though they didn't do my absolute favorite song).
The other thing that was interesting about the concert was that it was in conjunction with conference on domestic violence being held at my law school today. I had no idea...and in some ways it got to be a big much. Every one of the bands kept talking about it. I sort of wondered if I was the only person who didn't know ahead of time that was such a huge part of the concert. It didn't really make a difference, but it did influence which songs they were playing.
Weight: 157 (home scale...wtf...the day of my weigh in!)
Miles (yesterday): 2 (21:15)
No miles for today
The other thing that was interesting about the concert was that it was in conjunction with conference on domestic violence being held at my law school today. I had no idea...and in some ways it got to be a big much. Every one of the bands kept talking about it. I sort of wondered if I was the only person who didn't know ahead of time that was such a huge part of the concert. It didn't really make a difference, but it did influence which songs they were playing.
Weight: 157 (home scale...wtf...the day of my weigh in!)
Miles (yesterday): 2 (21:15)
No miles for today
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Solving the great shin splint delimma
So, I think I have found the shin splint culprit. Until recently, I had never logged very many miles at a time on a treadmill. About all I can take is 30 minutes at a time, but recently I've been on the treadmill almost every day. Temperatures here have hovered somewhere between 10 and 25 degrees. Its simply too cold to go for a run outside (although I did my 5 last Sunday in 19 degree temps while decked out in two layers of tights and a full gator covering my face). Anyway, I had been running on the treadmill with no incline. I think this is sort of like running downhill for miles. Downhill = bad for shin splints. So for the last few runs, I've added an incline. Its made the runs more difficult, but I'm not shin pain free. This is very good. Additionally, I've doing a lot more stretching of my right calf (the one behind the shin that kept hurting). I was pretty excited when I didn't experience any pain during my four mile treadmill run today.
The other good thing - I'm beginning to not hate the treadmill quite so much. I felt so great when I finished my miles today. I was full of energy and although I was tired, my body just felt better. The quite so slowly anymore as I stare at the clock ticking by. Instead, I keep my occupied by changing the speed of the treadmill every tenth of a mile or so. A tenth of a mile passes quickly and that's a lot easier to face than the long stretch of 4 miles. Still, I really really hope it get warmer around here before I need to do an eight mile long run.
Miles Run: 4 (43:15) (I did my four miles today because all I could muster yesterday was 2)
Weight: 155 (home scale)
The other good thing - I'm beginning to not hate the treadmill quite so much. I felt so great when I finished my miles today. I was full of energy and although I was tired, my body just felt better. The quite so slowly anymore as I stare at the clock ticking by. Instead, I keep my occupied by changing the speed of the treadmill every tenth of a mile or so. A tenth of a mile passes quickly and that's a lot easier to face than the long stretch of 4 miles. Still, I really really hope it get warmer around here before I need to do an eight mile long run.
Miles Run: 4 (43:15) (I did my four miles today because all I could muster yesterday was 2)
Weight: 155 (home scale)
Sunday, January 28, 2007
I get knocked down, but I get up again...
So yesterday was one of my official days off of running (I didn't run on Thursday, but between the 4.5 I ran on Wednesday and the 4 I ran on Friday, I made up my missed miles for the week). Now normally Saturdays are my completely no training day, and I like it that way. Yesterday, though, was just plain fun - I took a rock climbing class. I now know several things: how to tie the appropriate knots, that old running shoes with ginormous toe boxes aren't good for climbing, that I have no upper body strength, that I can belay someone even if they weigh more than me, and that some of the guys that climb are way cool, but that others are just jackasses.
After our initial lesson (which took about 2 hours and only involved about 20 minutes of actual climbing on either my friends end or mine), we had open access to the entire climbing gym. The gym is a pretty big climbing gym and they have can accomodate all climbing levels. I did ok during the lesson, but the shoes were a problem...my toes/feet just kept slipping off of my foot holds cause my shoes were far wider than my feet. So we got shoes (they were free with the lesson). Anyway, we started climbing one of the easier climbs and I was actually doing pretty great, until this jackass on autobelay did two things. One, he took my foot hold as his hand hold even though it was clear I had the right of way (I was above him on my way up) and two, on his way down he swung wildly away from the wall, literally knocking me off the wall. It wasn't cool. I now know that when you are on autobelay, you have to be extra careful cause you really don't have much control of how you come down. The jackass managed to get himself kicked out only moments later when he did a backflip on autobelay and almost kicked 5 people in the head...like I said, not cool.
There were guys who were super cool. There was this group of guys, probably my age or a little younger who were bouldering. They were literally hanging upside down just from the tips of their fingers clinging to the rocks. Now they also almost all had their shirts off so it was quite a spectical to watch...mmm eye candy. Anyway, I'm amazed at what some people can do in the climbing gym. Watching other people do lead climbing (and miss a place where they were supposed to clip in and fall four feet and smack into the wall) was pretty outstanding. I plan on going back to the climbing gym, and since it is just blocks from my work I could go after work.
As a result of the climbing, I've got a pretty sore upper body. My arms really aren't accustomed to doing much of anything, apparently. Also, I'm afraid that I'm getting shin splints. My right tibia has been hurting (in classical shin splint style) for the last day or so. I'm gonna try stretchign a bit more. I think maybe its just my mind playing tricks on me as a result of the training for the half marathon. I've never had shin splints before.
Foodwise, yesterday was pretty bad. I celebrated my friend's birthday with her family. Celebrating involved lots of mexican food, plus cake and ice cream. It was good cake though....so it was worth it. On good news on the weight front, yesterday I had a doctor's appointment and the dr.'s digital scale weighed me in at 155.5 - whooo!
Running to do today: 5 miles
Weight (dr.'s office): 155.5
Weight (home): 156
Flex points used yesterday: 10
After our initial lesson (which took about 2 hours and only involved about 20 minutes of actual climbing on either my friends end or mine), we had open access to the entire climbing gym. The gym is a pretty big climbing gym and they have can accomodate all climbing levels. I did ok during the lesson, but the shoes were a problem...my toes/feet just kept slipping off of my foot holds cause my shoes were far wider than my feet. So we got shoes (they were free with the lesson). Anyway, we started climbing one of the easier climbs and I was actually doing pretty great, until this jackass on autobelay did two things. One, he took my foot hold as his hand hold even though it was clear I had the right of way (I was above him on my way up) and two, on his way down he swung wildly away from the wall, literally knocking me off the wall. It wasn't cool. I now know that when you are on autobelay, you have to be extra careful cause you really don't have much control of how you come down. The jackass managed to get himself kicked out only moments later when he did a backflip on autobelay and almost kicked 5 people in the head...like I said, not cool.
There were guys who were super cool. There was this group of guys, probably my age or a little younger who were bouldering. They were literally hanging upside down just from the tips of their fingers clinging to the rocks. Now they also almost all had their shirts off so it was quite a spectical to watch...mmm eye candy. Anyway, I'm amazed at what some people can do in the climbing gym. Watching other people do lead climbing (and miss a place where they were supposed to clip in and fall four feet and smack into the wall) was pretty outstanding. I plan on going back to the climbing gym, and since it is just blocks from my work I could go after work.
As a result of the climbing, I've got a pretty sore upper body. My arms really aren't accustomed to doing much of anything, apparently. Also, I'm afraid that I'm getting shin splints. My right tibia has been hurting (in classical shin splint style) for the last day or so. I'm gonna try stretchign a bit more. I think maybe its just my mind playing tricks on me as a result of the training for the half marathon. I've never had shin splints before.
Foodwise, yesterday was pretty bad. I celebrated my friend's birthday with her family. Celebrating involved lots of mexican food, plus cake and ice cream. It was good cake though....so it was worth it. On good news on the weight front, yesterday I had a doctor's appointment and the dr.'s digital scale weighed me in at 155.5 - whooo!
Running to do today: 5 miles
Weight (dr.'s office): 155.5
Weight (home): 156
Flex points used yesterday: 10
Thursday, January 25, 2007
and I left my shoes at home
So yesterday I had a great run with a guy who has sort of become my friend. He and I sort of dated for a little bit and then he just wanted to be friends. So far so good on the friends front - not something I do very often. We met up at the history museum and then went from there. We ended up running a trail that was entirely new to me, probably about 4 miles. It took us 40 minutes and it had plenty of hills. He certainly pushed me to go faster than I normally would have on all of those hills, and there were only a couple times when I had to tell him that I couldn't keep up. All in all it was a pretty good run on a nice evening. I look forward to having more runs like that in the future.
Tonight I was supposed to get two more miles in. I was completely prepared. Even though my iPod wasn't working (don't worry, I took it to the ipod store, the guy flipped the hold button like 8 times and then it worked fine), I borrowed a shuffle from a friend and was totally ready to go...until I started to get dressed and realized I didn't have any shoes. That's right - I had brought two sets of clothing, had gone to the trouble of borrowing that shuffle and couldn't run for my wonderful forgetfulness and the fact that my shoes were sitting on the kitchen floor.
I'm gonna try to get my two miles in tonight after I pick up my best friend at the airport.
Weight (home-scale): 157.5
Miles yesterday: about 4
Miles to run today: 2
Tonight I was supposed to get two more miles in. I was completely prepared. Even though my iPod wasn't working (don't worry, I took it to the ipod store, the guy flipped the hold button like 8 times and then it worked fine), I borrowed a shuffle from a friend and was totally ready to go...until I started to get dressed and realized I didn't have any shoes. That's right - I had brought two sets of clothing, had gone to the trouble of borrowing that shuffle and couldn't run for my wonderful forgetfulness and the fact that my shoes were sitting on the kitchen floor.
I'm gonna try to get my two miles in tonight after I pick up my best friend at the airport.
Weight (home-scale): 157.5
Miles yesterday: about 4
Miles to run today: 2
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
chunky highlights
So, for the first time since my sophmore year of college I got highlights done on Saturday. I didn't keep them up when I was in college because I didn't want to be blond (and that's what my stylist had made me). This time, the stylist did a good job of keeping me a brunette, but I'm still not in love with the highlights. My hair does look more rich and has more depth, but it looks "highlighted." I guess I sort of expected hair like my sister-in-law's where its just sort of a blending of several different shades so that it just looks very natural and bright. Mine looks like I have big chunks of caramel in my hair. The stylist who did it is supposed to be very good, and I've been told that it will get better after a week or so. Also, I've heard that highlighted brown hair doesn't get that same look. Anyway, I'm not sure if I'm willing to spend that money every couple months for something I don't love. Guess it will depend on what kind of reaction I get from the opposite sex.
Today was one of my two days off from running for the week, my weigh in day for weight watchers, and (stop reading if you don't want too much information) the first day of my period. So of course I was bloated. While I did lose weight from my weigh in last week (down 1.2 pounds - YAY), my weight was higher than it was last Saturday when I weighed myself at home. I knew this was going to happen because my home scale said the same thing this morning (its basically identical to the weight watchers scale). Therefore, I was slightly disappoint, but none of it was unexpected.
Tonight after some time on the elliptical and the bike, I had a session with my trainer. My strength has improved and my abs are getting better. I really like my new trainer, but I'm not sure I'm gonna buy more sessions. I don't know if its worth the money.
Anyway:
Official weekly weight: 159.2
Running for today: none
Cross-training: 30 min. elliptical, 30 min. bike, 30 min. weight training
Today was one of my two days off from running for the week, my weigh in day for weight watchers, and (stop reading if you don't want too much information) the first day of my period. So of course I was bloated. While I did lose weight from my weigh in last week (down 1.2 pounds - YAY), my weight was higher than it was last Saturday when I weighed myself at home. I knew this was going to happen because my home scale said the same thing this morning (its basically identical to the weight watchers scale). Therefore, I was slightly disappoint, but none of it was unexpected.
Tonight after some time on the elliptical and the bike, I had a session with my trainer. My strength has improved and my abs are getting better. I really like my new trainer, but I'm not sure I'm gonna buy more sessions. I don't know if its worth the money.
Anyway:
Official weekly weight: 159.2
Running for today: none
Cross-training: 30 min. elliptical, 30 min. bike, 30 min. weight training
Monday, January 22, 2007
Farewell to the old me
I've been listening to a lot of Dar Williams lately so somehow this seemed like an appropriate blog title for today.
Yesterday, I ended up getting my four miles in outside - in four inches of snow. It was a really hard run, but I felt so proud when I was done. I was amazed that we hadn't really gone that slow. We finished the four miles in about 45 minutes with the snow drag and slipping and sliding.
Tonight I hurried through my two miles on the treadmill. I had forgotten my iPod so all I could think about were the seconds ticking by. Even with my nice slow warm up, I got my two miles done in 20:02 - pretty good. I think I'm starting to be able to handle a 10 minute mile pretty easily again. It feels good to be back to my prior fitness level (if only I could get the weight back under control).
Foodwise, it was a good week. Although I used every one of my activity points (and with the running I have used a lot), I only used ten flex points. Hopefully the scale will reflect that tomorrow.
Weight as of this morning (home scale): 158.5
Miles run: 2 (20 minutes 2 seconds)
Yesterday, I ended up getting my four miles in outside - in four inches of snow. It was a really hard run, but I felt so proud when I was done. I was amazed that we hadn't really gone that slow. We finished the four miles in about 45 minutes with the snow drag and slipping and sliding.
Tonight I hurried through my two miles on the treadmill. I had forgotten my iPod so all I could think about were the seconds ticking by. Even with my nice slow warm up, I got my two miles done in 20:02 - pretty good. I think I'm starting to be able to handle a 10 minute mile pretty easily again. It feels good to be back to my prior fitness level (if only I could get the weight back under control).
Foodwise, it was a good week. Although I used every one of my activity points (and with the running I have used a lot), I only used ten flex points. Hopefully the scale will reflect that tomorrow.
Weight as of this morning (home scale): 158.5
Miles run: 2 (20 minutes 2 seconds)
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Accountability
Again, I haven't posted on this thing in a while. I think that it is because I spend so much time on the computer when I'm at work that I don't want to do this when I get home. Anyway, I decided recently to make this blog my accountability factor.
I've got two major life goals right now: (1) to run a half marathon on April 15 and (2) to get back down to my lowest weight I ever acheived on weight watchers (and possibly lose another ten pounds from there). Therefore, I've decided that I'm going to account for my journey on this blog.
As far as the half marathon goes - so far so good. This past week was my first week in training, and I got all of my miles in. I've got to admit that the paced workout really kicked my butt. I really needed my rest day to recover. Today I need to run 4 miles for my long run this week. It shouldn't be a problem, but I was hoping to do it outside. We got about 4 inches of snow last night, so the sidewalks really won't be a good option. I might try running on the street, but I think it might just be treadmill running for me :-( Running outside would be so much better because then I would be running with a couple of friends.
Now, there's also the weight issue. For the past 6 weeks or so I've maintained exactly the same weight (and gasp - I'm gonna post it here) - 160 pounds. While the scale has varied like .4 from that in either direction, pretty much that's what I've done. Now for this time of year, that's actually pretty good. I managed to make it through the festivities of Christmas and New Years without gaining any weight - for me a nearly impossible feat. Still, that puts me about 10 pounds heavier than I was this time last year, and by now I should have not only maintained some of my pre-Christmas weight, but lost some poundage. The good news is that my home scale has shown some good movement this week. According to it, I'm down to 158. Hopefully, that will still be true when I weigh in on Thursday at my new meeting time and place. I need to get back to 150 for weight watchers to be free, and my lowest weight was 142.5. Getting back there is a very doable goal. Ultimately, I'd like to weigh 130ish, but that's a weight I've never seen in my adult life, so I don't know if its something my body could really maintain. For anyone who doesn't know me, even though I am significantly above my lowest weight, I'm definitely still a weight watchers success story - I've maintained about 60% of my weight loss. At my highest I weighed 192.2, and I refuse to go back to that weight.
Milage to run today: 4 miles
Weight: 158 (home scale)
I've got two major life goals right now: (1) to run a half marathon on April 15 and (2) to get back down to my lowest weight I ever acheived on weight watchers (and possibly lose another ten pounds from there). Therefore, I've decided that I'm going to account for my journey on this blog.
As far as the half marathon goes - so far so good. This past week was my first week in training, and I got all of my miles in. I've got to admit that the paced workout really kicked my butt. I really needed my rest day to recover. Today I need to run 4 miles for my long run this week. It shouldn't be a problem, but I was hoping to do it outside. We got about 4 inches of snow last night, so the sidewalks really won't be a good option. I might try running on the street, but I think it might just be treadmill running for me :-( Running outside would be so much better because then I would be running with a couple of friends.
Now, there's also the weight issue. For the past 6 weeks or so I've maintained exactly the same weight (and gasp - I'm gonna post it here) - 160 pounds. While the scale has varied like .4 from that in either direction, pretty much that's what I've done. Now for this time of year, that's actually pretty good. I managed to make it through the festivities of Christmas and New Years without gaining any weight - for me a nearly impossible feat. Still, that puts me about 10 pounds heavier than I was this time last year, and by now I should have not only maintained some of my pre-Christmas weight, but lost some poundage. The good news is that my home scale has shown some good movement this week. According to it, I'm down to 158. Hopefully, that will still be true when I weigh in on Thursday at my new meeting time and place. I need to get back to 150 for weight watchers to be free, and my lowest weight was 142.5. Getting back there is a very doable goal. Ultimately, I'd like to weigh 130ish, but that's a weight I've never seen in my adult life, so I don't know if its something my body could really maintain. For anyone who doesn't know me, even though I am significantly above my lowest weight, I'm definitely still a weight watchers success story - I've maintained about 60% of my weight loss. At my highest I weighed 192.2, and I refuse to go back to that weight.
Milage to run today: 4 miles
Weight: 158 (home scale)
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